I attempted to commit suicide last night by suffocation. Did not work. I also tried hanging myself: no success there. Think I might try a drug overdose next time.
My life has always been so messed up it’s not even funny anymore. Put it this way: I’m bisexual, communist, and my parents are Soviets. My social life completely collapsed a week ago, and it seems like everyone hates me now.
I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. My dad threw a knife at me and my mom tried to strangle me. On top of that, my friends just abandoned me! This is the second time in less than three days I have attempted to commit suicide. And, with any luck, I will be gone after tonight.
Everyone was asleep last night, so they couldn’t hear me. Easier that way. I decided I was ready to kill myself, and began to strangle myself. I started to choke silently, and blacked out soon after. I thought I was dead! That I had done it! 30 minutes later, I woke. Probably going to do it tonight again.
My parents hit me like crazy, yelling nonstop, and a little sister that hits and bites and screams at me. I walk somewhere else, and they don’t even notice I’m out! Yesterday, I thought about just ending it. They probably wouldn’t care.
I had a friend named Mikhail Belakov. He called me, asking me this question: What is there worth living for? He continued to say that he honestly didn’t see any purpose. He left a suicide note for his parents and older brother, and hung himself. I was informed of this by Mrs. Belakova, who told me the next day. He was only 15 years old.