Everyone was asleep last night, so they couldn’t hear me. Easier that way. I decided I was ready to kill myself, and began to strangle myself. I started to choke silently, and blacked out soon after. I thought I was dead! That I had done it! 30 minutes later, I woke. Probably going to do it tonight again.
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I’m sorry you feel this way, I’m sorry that, from an earlier post you say your friend killed himself, and you’re at such a young age, a quarter of my age, I can’t stop you from trying tonight, all I can do is say please don’t, that people are hear to listen if you want to talk.
I will not lie to you and tell you that It WILL get better. But I will tell you to wait and think more. I am too afraid to put a gun up to my head. Even if it’s unloaded. I would love to kill myself, but I don’t have the courage to end my life. I am trying to wait for someone to help me. My two therapists are not helping me.
I tried strangling myself. I thought I was ready for death, but then the belt I was using snapped. I thought of my Grandmother as I sat crying. I can’t do it again knowing that she’ll be destroyed as a result of my death. If I was totally alone, and had no one to live for, I would probably try it again.
All I can say is that if you are young, it may be hard to see it now, but you have no idea how much potential for change that there is for your life. Your life can do a complete 360 at any moment. I don’t know what kind of childhood that you had, but even if it was terrible, there are so many support networks out there to help you heal. Please give thought to this and find someone to share what’s really going on in your life and in your mind.