It has often occurred to me that some lives are not meant to get better, in spite of the lies to the contrary that is spewed. If that weren’t true I wouldn’t have been stuck in this tragic rut for so long. Still hoping for a miracle to prove me wrong.
Do you set yourself a literal “deadline” by which you’ll go through with it if nothing changes?
I’ll give it two more years, till I turn 27. I think it’s a good time. Looking forward to seeing Avengers 3 & Star Wars Ep 7.
Question: have you met any fellow SP members in real life? Specifically, by initiation after interacting on here/ private messaging.
I have meddled with suicide, sure. That changed when my father showed his nonchalance towards my death.
“Go ahead and jump,†he said.
Just two months ago some 21 year-old guy plunged from the 19th floor of a shopping mall here, and DIED. Everyone around him carried on as usual. Though plenty of Facebook shares from mortals pretending to care, while they barely know a thing about the guy and the hell he went through (lots of gory pictures too!). It was in the news as well. Would not go into details but my godmother knew him in person, so I know the backstory a […]
Oh, I forgot. Nobody’s there.
Has anyone considered ending it in a foreign country? This is different from the infamous suicide tourism, which is actually euthanasia & involves paying someone a big sum to legally kill you.
Of all the final destinations on my bucket list, I have been thinking of :
Hanging in a hotel overlooking Eiffel tower
Jumping into Berlin river
Jumping into the river dividing Budapest
Jumping onto NYC subway
Or any of the above methods in Moscow.
There is the Moscow Metro, a number of rivers, and certainly plenty of plush hotel rooms. For a long time I have had this obsession with Russian culture.
I believe that if and […]
What is your definition of social introvert and socially awkward?
Have looked up on this but would appreciate individual inputs.
I try to conceal my misanthropy by claiming to be an introvert. Presumably that is less off-putting to others and makes myself feel better. But after a handful of backpacking travels and interacting with people from and in other countries, I have come to conclude that the human heart STINKS just the same no matter where you’re from. What color or gender.
I used to think it is because I live in a third world country (save for the capital city), surrounded by low intellectual and […]
What is the lowest point/ season in life that you remember? Did it ever get better from there?
This joblessness is killing me and my money is running dry, it’s only a matter of time. Yet I dreaded the job when I actually had one. No, it’s more the people that I hate, those talentless “high flying†corporate bitches. Pretty sure I will encounter those ugly personalities again if and when I land a job.
Have gone for a handful of fruitless interviews, I think one rejected me because I pointed out a grammatical error in their application form. It is the local branch of […]
I have the equivalent of $1000 left to my possession. Where I come from you can sustain for about three months with that amount, based on my lifestyle. Not super thrifty, but definitely do not spend lavishly.
There is a number of fulfilling free things you can do, one of which is sinking in the sea of books. I like Kinokuniya bookstore for their vast selection.
Also trainspotting (the legitimate kind), and people watching. Grab a bottle of water along in case you get thirsty. But the subway network in my place is not as extensive or crowded as the one in NYC, which makes it […]
It is becoming apparent that mentally ill people do not end well and the same will probably happen to me. Meaning they die an unjust, untimely, and painful death. At least that’s what happened to people around me.
But is there such thing as a ‘good’ end? Please read on.
Story number one. Yesterday I learned that Aunt Sally’s brother, who is schizophrenic died in a Christian nursing home. Cause of death was heart attack. Here’s the flipside: the man had diabetes and hypertension. And yet the nursing home was feeding him (and other patients, they later found out) with overdose of antipsychotics. This is practically […]
Just a poll
Who here is jobless/unemployed and have been for how long?
Was it a voluntary decision or due to involuntary circumstances?
It seems that whatever my mental problem is hindering me from sustaining a job. For the record, the longest job I held was nine months, until I was fired.
I can take orders and can rationale with reprimands. What I do NOT condone is ridicule and oppression. Office politics brings out the ugliness in people, what one would do to another human being just to advance in the corporate ladder.
Whatever it is, I have now been labelled a job-hopper by agencies and probably unemployable.
Well I have been observing this site (daily during my periods of depression) for 2 years now but have never posted anything, until now.
Now, I remember a member by the name ‘Unique’ and really wonder how he is doing. Is he still around? His is one of the most heart wrenching and compelling life-story I have encountered. His story left an impression and really made me ponder.
http://suicideproject.org/author/unique/
I understand there is an unwritten code that members on this site assume—if a fellow member signaling his suicide intent does not come back to update, then he most likely had gone through with the ‘deed’.
I wonder where […]
In my 24 years of life I have had three different diagnoses for my purported mental illness, each by a different shrink. First it was schizophrenia, then depression, most recently bipolar– each ‘diagnosis’ overriding the previous one, but not an additional ‘symptom’.
This all, sentenced by a mere mortal who plays judge, jury and executioner over the sanity of others.
Has anybody here watched American Horror Story: Asylum (Season 2)? I believe the oppression and torment at Braircliff far extends beyond fiction. I have been committed to the asylum before and experienced first-hand the worse than animals treatment. Some of the prison guards are evil (it […]