i was thinking of leaving for good, but then as i thought of it i had then realised people did care but may not have showed it as much as other people do. i have many reasons now on why i should stay; the two main reasons are my baby brother and my best friend/my everything and he is the guy i have known for a long time, who is now the guy im with. i still get depresssed but i talk to my bf about everything anytime, doesnt matter if its the middle of the night and i woke him up, he stays up […]
Bye im no longer wanted by anyone in life. So no reason to be here.
i love my life…. wait no i dont. im far from loving my life. i have no reason that makes me happy anymore. i am dumb when it comes to school. i always get put down, people saying i will never get anywehere in life. people saying im a waste of space and air. i want to call it quits on life. i wanna call it quits on everything.
kso i am a bisexual girl but no ones knows i am. the reasson no ones knows is because at somepoint most people in my life said the dont like people that are in the LGBT community. i want to tell everyone now but i cant because they dont like LGBT people as much as people who are straight. my stepdad raised since i was born but his family and himself are against LGBT. my mom isn’t because in her culture(and mine) LGBT are seen as more superior. but i dont know if i should tell everyone now.
I spent a whole day think about my life and why I am here. throught that whole day my baby brother kept coming up in my head. So maybe he is the reason i am here. I spent all my time with him. He is the reason I smile now. if i do leave i dont want him to suffer. So i have decided to stay for him.
i love him no matter what <3
kso i have my suicide letter ready but i cant go through with suicide. i cant. i dont want to leave my brother behind. he is alwasy with me. i cant even leave him for a night without feeling bad. but at the same time i want leave. i just dont know what to do.
i hate my life because;
a) i dont have friends. they dont want to be friends with someone that is suffering depression
b) i have no one i can trust.
c) i ruined everyones lives.
d) i am stupid.
e) i am so far behind in school. i am 2 month behind in school work.
f) i attempted suicide twice.
g) i am never happy anymore. because i have nothing to be happy about.
kso lately i feel like i ruined everyones lives.
i ruined my moms life because she had to have me when she was 16 and drop out of school and couldnt become a nurse like she wanted. but she did go back and finish high school. 10 yrs later.
i ruined my dads because, well he had to have me also at a young age. but he walked out on my mom when she was pregnant with me.
i ruined my families life because i just did. they always tell me they would be better off with out me. (well my sisters always say that)
maybe they will be better off […]
Why?
I ask my self this everyday.
Why, am i still here?
Why?
WHY, WHY, WHY?
IÂ dont want to go through this anymore.
I stop cutting awhile ago, but now i have been having problems again, and i started cutting again. Every once in awhile I get a feeling like if i aint here(earth) everyone will be happy. I feel like i ruin everyones lives. I ruined my moms, my dads, my WHOLE FAMILIES lives. I want to be and i want them to be happy. The only way that will happen is if i am gone forever. I just want to be happy. I have been suffering from depression since i was 8 and now i am 16. I want to end this now. So maybe this is a goodbye forever.
i am 16 yrs old. my mom is 32 and my dad i dont know becaus e he walked out n my mom when she was pregnant. i live with my mom and step dad who are married and have been for 12 yrs. they have 5 kids together. my step dad raised me but i was never close to him. my father figure past away 2 yrs ago. i didnt know how to handle his death so i started cutting again. i started cutting when i was 8 and stopped when i was 14. my mom doesnt know that i cut and no one in my […]
How can i feel wanted and loved by my family?
When my real dad walked out on my mom when she was pregnant with. He has a kid 3 months younger than me and is happily married with his other kids mom. My mom doesnt want me. I am so far behind in school. I have been cutting since i was 9. My friends walked out on me because i cut.
I dont know about life anymore :/
In the deep deep shadows
Of a dark dark night
A girl walks the face of the Earth alone
As if pulled by a string
She doesn’t know where she’s going
She doesn’t know where she’s been
All she knows is what waits ahead
Because of whom she is
People stare
And people mock
But the young one never stops
She know something they don’t know
And something they never will
And so she tarries on
She goes as far as humanly possible
And then she walks some more
For she remembers the tale
She was told long ago down […]
I may be metal and have no heart
But in your life I have become a part
As I carve and carve at your tender wrist
I feel in your brain there must be a twist
Is it normal to turn to me for help?
When if I scar another they scream and yelp
Your feeling empty and rather alone
But I’m not left sitting alone in your home
In your bathroom cabinet I’m normally sealed
Although next to your heart your dreams become real
You use me to express your raw self hate
But should I be used in this way to create
The […]
i have been feeling loved lost lately by my own family
Suicide
how can i make this stop
Suicide
It’s all i think about
Suicide
Can’t get it out
Suicide
So hard to resist
Suicide
resist the urge to slit my wrist
Suicide
wishing i had a gun
Suicide
all i have is a small razor
Suicide
so i drag the blade across my legs and arms
Suicide
wishing to do myself much more harm
Suicide
and i wake soaked in blood
Suicide
cuts all over my body
Suicide
and im still somehow alive
Suicide
deep and long so much blood lost
Suicide
how am i still here?
Suicide
I really need a gun
Suicide
one day… one day
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