well I think that thanks to you guy my arts coming back I might try and attempt to do a comic the ark is dark a bit like the place I’m inn but yeah 
feel to draw for some reason bit of afternoon drawing for me -expression
how is everyone doing today ?
your still with us 🙂
now it’s kind of creepy because I had a dream on Friday that someone did something to them self I think they stabbed them self with something I can’t remember what happened but now I know the dream was about Ylem weird
it was great to hear from u
my twin 🙂 it put a smile on my face
How’s everyone on sp today ? Anyone heard from Ylem ?
I’m not feeling so low today can someone tell me isit wrong to have suicidal thoughts and not feel to act on them ? right now my mind seems to be jumping between the too one day I think I’m going to act on it then another day il be low but not want to act on it for some reason maybe I don’t have the mental energy I don’t no
anyone heard from Ylem I haven’t heard from her and I no she having a tough time iv email her but she hasn’t replied I’m worried
I’m running out of options and reasons to live I might have to go see a psychic as believe in them and spirality energy etc and if they don’t tell me anything dramatic or life changing in a good way I think I’m going to have to call it a day and plann it out properly because iv had enough of being depressed this is not Living Fucking Life this is survival so what’s the point I think my best bet is go see a psychic plan and pick my method and self myself a time line
because let’s face it winning the lottery isn’t going […]
You know I can’t do this on my own Who will fix me now ? Dive in when I’m down save me from my self don’t let me drown
been in the darkness so long so the darkness is what I became
my world is dark only one way to release the pain
i befriened the steel in the darkness she knows how to ease my pain
alone in the dark no one can hear you scream you can open your mouth but no sound comes out
physical pain is my only release
alone in the dark with the demons and me
The river runs red but it all in my head
you know when you already know that your life is going to end prematurely not sure when but you know deep down it will happen sooner or later because life isn’t for you and you have no plans for life either and your drifting though each day and it’s getting harder and harder to bare and you sit there thinking why didn’t my first attempts work and since then your trying to find a more successful method but it’s hard to choose which way you would like to go out hoping u find the courage to go though with it
when I was a teen I […]
i swear no sleep in the world could cure this tiredness apart from that ever lasting sleep everyone hopes for here
im tired of fighting im physically and mentally drained I ain’t got much fight left in me I don’t even have enough strength to try again right now so I have to stay suffering and get destroyed by my demons (my thoughts )
its funny how you can be your own worst enemy it’s a battle to fight myself everyday how can u win the war against your self with out killing yourself it’s tough
When dose the pain end drowning in thoughts going to sleep praying by some miracle you don’t wake up and waking up trying to find a good enough reason to live but you can find anyone iv just had enough what’s the point why am I fighting so much to live if I’m just live to die so unhappy what do u do when your life is a mess and all u think about is death how can u live this way
i love you guys the support everyone has for each other it’s sweet only if the world was this easy
thank u for the support il try support u guys the best I can give u advice non judgmental
my email in a post but if u want it just ask your not alone in the dark
thanks guys Xx
drowning
Living life in the fast watching myself from a distance
can’t tell the difference between what’s reality and my fantasy
Drifting floating sinking drowning
I don’t understand but it’s hard to breathe were im standing
a few cuts can turn a dark world colourful pain release trying to kill the thing inside
I don’t knew the difference between myself and my demons
disconnected from life plug me in like the matrix
red or blue pill il have em both swollow hoping Il choke
Man in the mirror who am I I’m watching my self from a distance have we ever been connected two different people in one body
come to think about it my lifes been a mess from the start from around 8 all iv knew is pain and suffering and reality it hard to bare I now understand why I used to drink and smoke weed everyday been sober for 3 years reality is hard mentally there a lot going on that I cant cope with it all my whole lifes been a dream I could see my self from a distance but can’t stop my self
i try to help other people though their struggles because I have no idea how to help /save myself helping other takes away my pain for short time and is a distraction I like all you guys your strength give me strength when I’m in the darkness fighting the demons
“were in the same game just different levels same hell just different demons ”
would be nice to get to know everyone we all try to support each other though the struggle and you guys have supported me in my dark hours
im not saying we will beat this I’m not saying things will or won’t get better […]
i wonder why the drug company’s stopped making sleeping pills and other pills as lethal as they used to be ? I think a lot of us wouldn’t be here today it’s like the government want to keep us alive for what reason ? I think we should have a choice to go into a forever sleep if our pain and suffering is for more then a few years and we are really unhappy with life that’s my opinion
What has changed from a year ago when I starting to be suicidal again nothing apart from me starting to act on it I should have done it a year ago just prolonged my pain and suffering so what is if nothing changes by next year that would be two years of suffering and u happiness would be ideal to swollow something and sleep forever but that ain’t going to happen I need a better method or the courage to follow though with a method I’m not keen on who knows time will tell I guess
il put my email here if anyone what’s to chat […]
Watched the film legend was an ok film I guess the only part I liked was when he’s girl friend commit suicide I thought I wish it was that easy to to I envy people that succeed
I feel life isn’t for everyone and I’m one of them people how can you enjoy life if all u no is pain suffering heartbreak and self destruction ? It’s not fun there no enjoyment here live life if only they knew it’s survival there a big difference
how can u think positive if u living in darkness were the light in the dark ?
I knew the good mood wouldn’t last like I said yesterday it wouldn’t last and it didn’t I’m back normal as I call it depressed as hell wishing Monday actually went as planned and well it’s the first day of summer with no plans not looking forward to it at all being suicidal is hard work not knowing when your last day will be u can act on impulse and not plan at any given moment and end up in hospital again I hope next time it’s in a body bag because life is hard and it’s not getting easier sigh