I put a loaded gun against my head today. Looked down the barrel first, out of morbid curiosity, I guess. “Staring down the barrel of a .45” immediately popped into my head. I was very careful with my trigger finger. I didn’t want it to go off on its own, but part of me hoped it did. I thought about how it would look, my bedroom with a white down comfortor, white sheets, a white frame on the wall splattered with brain matter…. I thought about my mother, driving to visit my sister and her kids this weekend for a party. I thought about my stepmom who […]