I am a student, and older than my other classmates it makes me feel so much inferior that sometimes i dont like to go to classes, and secondly i look older than my age that is an issue too. one of our teacher calls us daily at the podium and asks us to discuss that is highly embarrassing for me facing daily cause my english is not good. a lot of things i have to face daily in class, sometimes i feel to end my life. not able to find any way out. i have backlogs that i have to clear in near future, there is no chance that i am getting my degree on time because of backs. i have failed in every aspect of my life, academically poor, not good in sports, financially poor, and i liked a girl a lot for more than two years and when i asked her out, she and her friends made fun of me in class, till this day i hate to go to class because of her, i am not cool, i am short, ugly, introvert, shy, aggressive person who can’t speak in class. i feel i won’t be able to achieve anything in my life, parents have expectations from me, and daily i feel to kill myself than going to classes and feel inferior and getting humiliated everyday.
In my whole life of 21 years, i have been a loser only throughout my life, my mom-dad loves me a lot, and i have never been able to make them happy, i just want to make them happy and give everything to them, they have sacrificed a lot for me, and i am such a loser, i could never give them what they wanted, th only thing they wanted from me to get good marks throughout my schooling and college days, which i never could, i have already wasted huge amount of money, more than $10,000 on coachings and education, now the ultimate thing they want me to do is to get a job, i want to be a police officer, that i definitely will become, but the problem is for that i have to prepare for competitive exam, and for that i have to leave the college i am studying in right now, i can’t say to them that i again i want to leave college, which i have already done more than two times…….what will they feel about me, that they have given birth to a loser…….what my relatives will think….i am doing law, from a prestigious university, but i can not carry on my studies here……i want to be an police officer, and nothing else i want from my life……sometimes i feel to end my life but then i think what would my parents feel then…..but i am just a wastage for my parents who invests a lot of money in education and never able to get good mark at all…….what to do??????