I cried myself to sleep last night because I was so frustrated everything just felt pointless and I was tired of feeling stuck and just wish I never got depressed in the first place. I feel like being bullied caused a lot of problems for me that led me to depression and I feel like if I dealt with bullying by talking to someone and telling those who bullied me that what they were saying was hurting me instead of putting my energy into hobbies then I wouldn’t be here. I developed so many bad habits because of it for instance: I hold all my […]
I feel extremely lonely and the worst part about it is that I don’t like getting to know people. I don’t know what’s wrong with me . I do talk to people but I don’t really open up about my problems and whenever I keep saying I need someone I feel like I’m annoying someone. I don’t think anything gets better
I feel really down right now  and bad Monday is coming and I can just feel all my stress creeping up on me like life is going to end. I feel really ugly right now and my self-esteem is real low.
*sigh*
I haven’t been extremely depressed in maybe  a week but I feel a loss of appetite and whenever I eat it’s junk and I’m irritable quite often. Does anyone else experience this?
If there’s something I could change about myself  I wish I wasn’t soo sensitive and that things wouldn’t get to me. Yesterday at school something someone said got to me and what they said wouldn’t usually bother me. The people at lunch I usually sit with(which is only 20 minutes) kicked me out of the table and said “we don’t really know you and don’t understand why you sit with us considering you’re a sophomore and we’re freshman and you have plenty of friends in school so I don’t see why you sit with us and you don’t really talk” the thing is that isn’t […]
I was inspired to write my story I’ve already posted it but I was vague and didn’t really go into detail about myself. In the sixth grade I was bullied by kids in my class and didn’t have any friends at first I was fine with it but then it got to me and it made me hate who I was and feel ugly from the on I hated going to school and I would cry when I got home and used to wish that I were beautiful or interesting so people would like me but to make myself feel better I would watch anime’s […]
I don’t know why I let this kid get to me but it’s just that he’s always rude to me, likes to talk down to me, and claims I’m rude b/c apparently I’m in his business for instance today I was standing around waiting for a bathroom pass and was looking around and he says” yes was I talking to you”  but I didn’t  say anything because I don’t  like to respond to negativity and lets face it going to a teacher may not do much so I’ve decided that the next time he says something I’ll simply tell him “listen there’s a nicer way […]
My teacher gave my class an assignment where we write to our future selves in five years it can be about anything, I’m sure going to cry when I write it.. so much has happened to me I just hope my letter is going to be positive, this has kind of inspired me to write my story on here
I’ve been in an OK mood this week and it wavered depending on how my day went for example I’ll be in a good mood but if one little thing happens that irritates me then it affects my mood for the rest of the day. I don’t have any friends at school or anyone that I really talk to except for in 5th period which I don’t mind so today at lunch I hear that someone saying they’re going to Cancun so I comment “oh you’re going to Cancun” and this boy at my table is says “I would appreciate it if you don’t but […]
I was feeling down about my looks and myself as a person last night and my mood kind of transferred to the next day(today) later on in school in fourth period I didn’t feel like doing work because mind was too preoccupied. I felt even worse when I went back to class because my crush in there and I started to over think that why would he ever like me maybe for him to like me I’d have to be better than I am now but I guess I did it because I needed to put how I felt on to something
I feel like I need thicker skin because I’ve been feeling sensitive lately maybe it’s because I’ve been thinking too much. I feel like the little things bother me  for example I don’t feel beautiful at all even though some people may find me beautiful I feel like they just say that to be nice or make me feel good but I don’t feel like I deserve it because I don’t think I’m good enough to have good things there’s girls that seem to have it all they have:good looks, brains,they believe in themselves,chase their dreams,and most of all they don’t let people’s comments get […]
I really need someone
This is one of the worst days I’ve had in a while. My mom dragged me to church by lying that my aunt was sick and that I needed to babysit my cousin when I got there a pastor came there and it basically felt like everyone was staring at me I don’t mean to seem paranoid and it felt like an intervention. I don’t know why she makes me feel like such a problem child this is the second time this has happened I did try getting help and even went to a social worker at my school but she wasn’t […]
I feel hopeless and lost tonight I don’t want to be here anymore. I have no hope for me hope is pointless because I start on some journey thinking I’m going to be happy but I always seem to find my way to a dead end and I’m tired of feeling disappointed there’s nothing to look forward to I don’t want to be here .. I’m a nobody and that’s all I’ll ever be. goodnight
I had a bad day today at school I didn’t feel too good about myself and I feel like I deserve a good cry after it. I was in gym when a group of kids in my class asks a boy “would you ever go out with her?” Â he responds “hell no!” and the kids laugh and say “do you think she’s cute?” and he replies ” she looks like sh*t”. I remember being bullied in the sixth grade it was like no matter what I did nobody liked me and kids would kind of say mean things to me and I had no friends […]
It really surprises me how my mood can go from being OK (I wasn’t entirely happy) to  me feeling like utter scum. I started talking more in lunch and fifth period and I usually don’t talk so whenever I do I feel like people just look at me like “why do you even open?” because of the looks they give me, but that doesn’t bother me that much compared to talking to the people you like because it feels like “am I annoying to you?”  I don’t know maybe school’s just another trigger for me but I feel like “look at all these people probably […]
A lot has happened to me recently I joined a support group so that’s why I haven’t been posting as frequently and I saw the social worker at my school to get help that was an alright experience she called my mom and my mother didn’t really understand and told me I should just pray to God and also today I apologized to my friends whom I cut off only two of them replied and the reactions are fifty fifty one of them forgives me and the other is mad and even told me “why do you even bother apologizing?” the thing is if you […]
I did something brave this week I went to my school social worker and got help but things didn’t work out the way I thought it would although going to the social worker was not a bad experience. She made the call to my mom(both agreed on) Â my mother doesn’t really believe me and told me not to go to back and that what I need to do is pray and read my bible and that the social worker wouldn’t even be able to help.. *sigh* Â I actually used to pray for my depression to go away for a while. I didn’t think it […]
I can really feel myself shrink when I’m at school, the amount of negative feelings toward myself kind of made me uneasy and it’s not even that even that it’s the amount of time I’ve spent feeling THIS bad about myself from from 6th-10th grade(now) and the amount of anger and emotion that I have I do feel bad about carrying so much of it but it’s like I can’t pinpoint my exact problems with my depression sometimes it feels like it’s the same problems repeating themselves and it’s hard to feel good about myself and say that it’ll be alright because after so much […]
I’ve been trying to write this post since Monday.. funny how this awful feeling didn’t go away at all since then it’s now two in the morning on a Friday. I miss my friends I regret cutting them off the way I did but I remember how badly my depression set in and I was doing everything I could to get rid of it so I distanced myself from them until I could get better. Earlier this week I messaged someone who I hadn’t seen for a while on Facebook and they couldn’t remember me at all and it wasn’t them not remembering me that hurt […]
I haven’t really done anything today but remained in bed today so I just figured I’d let all out that I’m feeling. I haven’t really been feeling good about myself (well more than the usual) Â whether it’s about my looks,intelligence,etc. After being bullied I never really dealt with my feelings I kind of just carried them with me I don’t have any confidence and I don’t really like the way I look and I constantly compare myself and whenever I see pictures of really pretty girls I shrink and it’s really unhealthy because I can’t be around people for too long without feeling like I […]