i can fly
Help.
Falling.
I love feeling numb.
I hate human touch. I CAN’T stand it.
Its very hard for me to hold a steady relationship because I can’t stand to be touched.
But I feel so disgusting and dirty. I don’t know why anyone would want to touch me.
I rather be alone the rest of my life than deal with this bullshit society.
I smoke weed to be numb and feel some normality.
Numb from the pain in my past. Numb from the pain that is my future.
In reality, it makes me more depressed.
It makes me think too much.
I wish I could always feel numbness.
I just wish I was brain dead. So I […]
It started when I was six. He came into my room in the middle of the night and woke me up. He asked if I wanted to go to “snuggleville”- that was the name he gave one of the guesthouse bedrooms. I always would go in there, and he would follow. But this time was different. This time was confusing. I followed him into the guest bedroom…Ugh. I know I should talk about it. I buried it. It still in my sub conscience. Constantly fucking with me. Replaying over and over again. As time went on, shit got worse. Other things happened. I have found […]
im 17.im a girl. i just dont care anymore. i smoke too much weed.i was molested by an immediate family member when i was little. i hate myself. i go to an all girls school. i hate it. all my friends ever want to do is party. i want a boyfriend but i know im too crazy to have one. no one could take me. i have no real friends. i was gang raped by drug dealers a little more than a month ago. i cut myself. my moms an alcoholic and sometimes stays out for nights.. i know ive gone mad. i know it. […]
im 17.im a girl. i just dont care anymore. i smoke too much weed.i was molested by an immediate family member when i was little. i hate myself. i go to an all girls school. i hate it. all my friends ever want to do is party. i want a boyfriend but i know im too crazy to have one. no one could take me. i have no real friends. i was gang raped by drug dealers a little more than a month ago. i cut myself. my moms an alcoholic and sometimes stays out for nights.. i know ive gone mad. i know it. […]