It started when I was six. He came into my room in the middle of the night and woke me up. He asked if I wanted to go to “snuggleville”- that was the name he gave one of the guesthouse bedrooms. I always would go in there, and he would follow. But this time was different. This time was confusing. I followed him into the guest bedroom…Ugh. I know I should talk about it. I buried it. It still in my sub conscience. Constantly fucking with me. Replaying over and over again. As time went on, shit got worse. Other things happened. I have found it nearly impossible to keep a steady, close relationship with anyone. I push people away. I don’t want to. I just need to. I feel so dirty and disgusting. Im worthless. I don’t want anyone telling me otherwise…
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3 comments
I know exactly how you feel…The only thing I can trust in my life is my pipe and weed… Things happen and Not everybody can get over it as fast as it happened… sometimes when your having a day dream or a dream it comes over you and it just pushes all the images and memories you want to forget up in your face and it makes you relive it
this reminds me all to well of my past… im sorry, but eventually, your going to have to leave your comfort zone if you want to ever feel happy… it was a bit easier for me, im a boy. you on the otherhand, are going to have more trouble with this.
yea 🙁