And on one side is a vacant lot and the other a vacant house, wtf? I can’t scream in despair in my own home?
Seriously fffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this mortal coil.
Been drinking with a friend who said “you just can’t give up” as if that’s rhetorical.
Got my rejection letter today for the job that would have saved me in so many ways.
While we were drinking my composure was fairly good but I went to pee like four times ands cried in the bathroom each time.
I’m drunk as all fuck right now. Tomorrow I am driving home for my four-year-old sister’s birthday. I have to make decorations for the party. I figure I didn’t remember shit at four, they can just tell her I was an imaginary friend until she’s 25. The week following, an ex-boyfriend […]
http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/bering-in-mind/2010/10/20/being-suicidal-what-it-feels-like-to-want-to-kill-yourself/
It’s really goddamn familiar, huh? I guess we could all stand to stop creating or internalizing unrealistic standards for ourselves and our lives… Which is harder than it sounds, for me anyway.
One more thing I stumbled on recently that I thought was interesting: antinatalism, the belief that life should not be brought into existence. They say they don’t approve of suicide, but I see a connection. Regardless–hear, hear!
By the way, I’m so fickle about life… I am back to suicidal ideation again because two leads I had for jobs no longer seem as promising. Having a liberal arts degree in this economy is such a […]
A bit ago, I wrote on here about feeling suicidal, chronically depressed, and my job amplifying that depression quite a bit (mostly evil boss), but not seeing a way to escape my job, not being qualified, etc. I said something like “if something awesome doesn’t happen soon, I am going to kill myself in January or February.”
A friend found me a job to apply for that not only would I be qualified for, but would involve a small raise, regular hours (oh my god, I could take classes after work, have time to make artwork, take violin lessons…), my boss wouldn’t be a huge evil […]
Hey, all this talk of cutting on here lately.
As I mentioned in a reply to someone’s cutting post, I cut myself in junior high and high school and stopped around age 17, I put that self-abuse energy into obsessively exercising instead. Sure wish I could get back into the obsessive exercising…
Anyway, years later, I still have self-mutilation scars. It’s one of the biggest things I dread at the start of a relationship, especially as I get older and more interested in, you know, sane people, well-balanced people. My scars are on my thighs, so the big reveal is usually when we’re gettin’ down to business.
By […]
Hi everyone, this is my first post.
I am 24, female, in Indiana, USA, have been off-and-on suicidal for several years–romantically as a teen, and legitimately toward the end of college and after.
To be really honest–I don’t understand how suicide is not more common. I wonder if there’s some big cover-up.
In the past, I have held out for that next big life step–college, or starting my career–but I have started the “career,” and I have realized that apparently life is getting up every day and going to work, maybe until you die, maybe until you retire and then run out of money and die. Â Especially in […]