A possible way out

A bit ago, I wrote on here about feeling suicidal, chronically depressed, and my job amplifying that depression quite a bit (mostly evil boss), but not seeing a way to escape my job, not being qualified, etc. I said something like “if something awesome doesn’t happen soon, I am going to kill myself in January or February.”

A friend found me a job to apply for that not only would I be qualified for, but would involve a small raise, regular hours (oh my god, I could take classes after work, have time to make artwork, take violin lessons…), my boss wouldn’t be a huge evil ***** who insults my intelligence and capabilities, I might even actually make friends because it wouldn’t be such isolated work, AND the work actually seems fulfilling, like I might be able to help people, which is what I was looking for when I moved hundreds of miles away from everyone I know to take a job that turned out to be soul-sucking. I really need some kind of work that would make me feel capable of creating positive tangible change in the world.

I’m by no means expecting this job to cure my depression, but it could possibly help me build circumstances that would allow me to manage my depression more successfully. If I didn’t wake up every morning considering killing myself rather than going into work, just that would be a significant gain.

The lady who would be my boss has sent me the job description, and I intend to redraft my resume tonight and vet it with my relatives and friends over Christmas, then send it over on Sunday or Monday… Wish me luck, and I am an atheist, but fuck, go ahead and pray for me, too, or do black magic or something. I need all the help I can get.