I think this year it will finally happen. After wanting it for almost 20 years…it’s time. I’m worthless and hurt everyone anyway, why not just do it? Happy New Year.
I absolutely hate the whole “suicide is selfish” bullshit. I really feel that people are selfish for making me stay alive & suffer. Sure, they’re not forcing me to stay alive, but I’ve been given the guilt trip & all of that stuff. Pretty much everyone in my life knows that I want to die. Family, friends, doctors, etc. I’m rather open about it. I’ve made all sorts of promises, but I really don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve had various plans. Some halfhearted attempts. Most of my plans now are pretty full proof, but complicated. I just stumbled across a new […]
Apparently I was already a member here, but I don’t remember joining. But I’m glad I re-found this site. I need a non-judgemental place to talk. I’ll try to keep it short. 😛
I’ve been severely depressed and suicidal for over 19 years now. I’ve had some periods of “ok-ness”, but nothing too exciting. Pretty much tried all the meds/med combos/ketamine infusion/ECT/different therapies/hospitalizations/residentials/etc. Had some random, minor attempts. And here I am today, still depressed as hell & just wanting to end it all.
My nephew killed himself almost 2 years ago. It was extremely heartbreaking and I’m still not even close to being over it. If […]
I’m having overwhelming urges to OD tonight. I have the sleeping pills. I cleaned up my room. I’m shaking and my heart is racing, even after taking 2 klonopins. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I feel this need to do it. Now. I need help. I’m not sure what I should do. I don’t want to be locked up again. I don’t think I want to die. I don’t know what I want. Maybe just to sleep. For a long time.
I just can’t take it anymore. I’ve had these feelings before and they never ended up very positively. Â I just cut myself and it wasn’t enough. My life is just headed downwards and I don’t have the energy to change things. I haven’t left the house all week, except to go to the bar and get drunk. I finally showered this morning because I have to go to work. I’m disgusting. I need the strength and courage not to buy pills today after work. I have a feeling I will. It’s like uncontrollable. I don’t want to live like this anymore. 🙁
ETA: I really don’t […]