Author

imyouroldman

Old man needs advice…serious!

by imyouroldman 8/27/2011

written by imyouroldman

Ok, I HAVE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS TOWN, THIS STATE and THIS JOB!

Or I’m gonna DIE soon.

I’ve got some money coming this coming week, that will allow to cut and run.

I know exactly where I want to go and why I want to go there(make a lot of money, start over)

Do I just pack my clothes and a few other essential items I can’t live without and GO!
Do I plan my departure, 2 weeks notice, set up interview appointments etc and then pack way to much crap and then GO?

The “going” part is a bit over 2,500 miles away…..so this is a ONE […]

8/27/2011 5 comments

I have a problem…

by imyouroldman 8/26/2011

written by imyouroldman

OK so here’s the deal. Â Last week I had planned everything, purchased everything and set up everything to check out this past Saturday. Â Obviously it didn’t happen. Â Why? Â Simple! Â Once I knew everything was in place that I just had to go to the closet and *poof*, I became calm, relaxed etc. Â In the middle of that peacefulness, an idea come to me.

Took about a day for me to fully embrace the idea. Â Made sure I wasn’t just teasing myself unrealistically. Â The major thing that will cure me? Â Get out of the dead end little fucking mill town and my dead end little fucking mill […]

8/26/2011 12 comments

Messin around

by imyouroldman 8/26/2011

written by imyouroldman

I’ve got a helium tank with valve and tubing running to an airtight mask. Â I open the valve just a crack and see if I can close it before unconciousness…….so far so good…

8/26/2011 8 comments

by imyouroldman 8/25/2011

written by imyouroldman

Anathema – Angels Walk Among Us (Lyrics)
only you can heal inside,
Only you can heal your life

It must have been an angel
Who counted out the time
Yes it must have been an angel
Who raised a knowing smile

And I just couldn’t reach you
No matter how I tried
No I just couldn’t reach you
So instead I ran to hide

(only you can heal inside,
Only you can heal your life)

Mother can you hear me?
Can you tell me, are you there?
Father can you help me?
Cos I know that you care
And I don’t have to fight it anymore
For all […]

8/25/2011 1 comment

I CAN DO THIS!!!

by imyouroldman 8/24/2011

written by imyouroldman

Kinda strange when you get to the point where you are REALLY ready to check out.

Everything has been purchased, set up, tested and dry runs made.

You realize this is it and this calmness and peace falls over you.

In that peace, Â you think clearer.

Somewhere in that Peace, Â I found a little ray of light. Â It let me see things a little different.

It’s NEVER about WANTING to die, it’s more like you HAVE to die.

So then I decided to try one more time. Â To pick myself up and go back out and […]

8/24/2011 1 comment

Mourning – Tantric self titled 2001

by imyouroldman 8/21/2011

written by imyouroldman

“Mourning” – Tantric 2001(self-titled)

Is there something that you’re trying to say
Don’t hold back now
It’s been a long time since I felt this way
So don’t hold back now

I purposely forgot about
Loving anyone
Cause I’m the only one who has
Who has been stepped upon

Is there something that you’re trying to say
Cause I can take it
Cause I grew up a man this way
And if I’m hurt I’ll shake it

I’ll crawl back into my cave
That’s how I’ll make it
Cause out of all this hurt we have
Beauty thus become
Beauty thus become

In the […]

8/21/2011 5 comments

My Life…a “Short” Story…..

by imyouroldman 8/19/2011

written by imyouroldman

I am a 54 yo man who lives in northern New England. I have no living relatives that I actually know(phone numbers, addresses, etc..) I have no friends other then the people I see at work. I do not socialize and when I am not working, I sit in my small 1 bedroom apt.
I work in a manufacturing plant driving a fork truck. The job sucks. The company sucks. The pay sucks. The benefits suck.

But I am trapped here now due to socio-economic conditions. I would so love to leave and return to the World. This has been an Evil place for me ever […]

8/19/2011 3 comments

I think Death is the ultimate expression of Freedom?

by imyouroldman 8/18/2011

written by imyouroldman

I am here as a reaffirmation of the fact that I am a Free Man and I am the only one in charge of my OWN destiny. And to reaffirm the fact that I have the STRENGTH to complete ANY task I undertake.

I can doÂ anythingÂ that I want to.
I can makeÂ thatÂ happen.
I can doÂ this.
I can do what IÂ want.
I and only IÂ controlÂ my future.

Or for those looking for the same idea in a one liner…..”Git er done”

I think Death IS the Ultimate Expression of Freedom.

There ARE worst EVILS in this World, then Death……..

Much worse…..

Sept. 5th, 2011

8/18/2011 2 comments

It’s almost time..

by imyouroldman 8/17/2011

written by imyouroldman

I’m not going to get into everything that has gone wrong in my life during the past 10 years. Trust me, I was one of the strongest. I was one of those who lusted after life. That was then, now is now. I will cease to exist soon. And no one will even know I’m gone. No friends, family, nothing…. Hoping to have all my materials tested and ready to go for a Sept 5th Departure. Wish me luck. I am genuinely excited.

Feel free to email me or message me w/Yahoo Messenger. Â Think they are on my profile. Â But please no matter how well intentioned […]

8/17/2011 10 comments