It has been two years today since I lost my best friend and love of my life Zach to suicide. I was the last to talk to him but I was so busy I couldn’t really talk. His mom texted me the next day telling me his little sister found him and it was my fault since I was the last to talk to him and I would burn in hell with him. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. There is not much left for me anymore. I do not know what to do. I do not think I can […]
Guys I really need some help. I am not doing good at all. Each day just gets worse and worse. I feel like im suffocating, drowning in my own fears of having to live another day. How can I survive when every part of me is telling me to end it? How much it would be easier without me here? I can’t tell my friends anything because they tell me I am being overdramatic, my family would just throw me back into a mental institution and the only true friend I had died. The two year anniversary of him killing himself is coming up and […]
Today has been such a hard day. I go with my family and we pretend everything is okay. I heard my cousins talking about me and saying how great it is that I have made improvements and how I am not crazy anymore. If only they knew how I was still feeling, how much I still hate life and how I don’t want to be here anymore. They would probably say I am even crazier than before. I wish I could be happy. I wish I wasn’t known as the “crazy one” in my family because I have tried to kill myself before. I just […]
This is the first time I have ever written on this so I hope I am doing this right. I just cut myself again. I haven’t done it in so long but right now I just hate myself so much. I love to watch crimson red blood pour out of my porcelain skin. It calms me down. It is a simple motion that I would much rather face than my complicated life. I told myself I would stop but my razor just keeps calling me back. I can’t picture myself ever really stopping. I give major props to the people who have and I wish I had […]