I feel Sad, lonely, helpless and I am in so much pain … I’m just going to cry my self to sleep … I hope I die in my sleep …
I have come to the conclusion that life is some sick experimental scheme that we can curtail by refraining from reproduction . By walking hand in hand into the beautiful glare of oblivion and hence opting out of this Raw deal. Imagine the unfairness of yanking an innocent soul from the comfort of oblivion and casting it into this painful thresher called life. If you have Kids, love them. If you don’t have them, please just be kind enough not bring them into this sick world.
My primary feeling of being in this world is horror and repulsion, my secondary feeling is devastating boredom. My reality is one mundane unglorious task after another until I’m dead. I’m barely managing to survive in this world of extroversion and expected positivity.
SP AND CHILL !!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR
SP and Chill
I swear I could have blown my brains out this evening if I had a Gun in my vicinity. Damn, I got a bad panic attack and everything around me became a blur, migraines etc I hate these Panic Attacks … Not sure they are a result of me trying to wean myself off of meds…
Uhmm, I mean to ask …. Has anyone here on SP ever Over Dosed on Anti-depressants ???
Society’s obsession with good looks and sexual attractiveness is absurd. Watching all these “cute” Celebs makes feel so insignificant and plummets my self esteem. Makes me think about my worthlessness and how mentally fucked up and ugly I really am.
I don’t know if there’s a reason I’m here
I feel the only thing that’s driving me is reason and fear
And seeing death to me conceivably near
So I don’t give a fuck what you think about me reaching for beer
I don’t worry anymore about what my friends do
I have a more urgent matter to attend to
Is there something there bigger when I die and vanish?
That weaves everyone and everything into a canvas
I’m not smart enough to think I have a resolution
I’ll never be a man with mediocre constitution
My father told me that blood and power intoxicate
I am a weird guy. I have weird preferences when it comes to entertainment, all the ideologies I embrace are contrarian, weird sexual tastes ( I am attracted to female hands), fucked up persona, socially inept. I feel like an outcast and I just don’t fit into society as a functional being.
ahh just wanted to vent my insecurities … sigh
….. and I think I am touch deprived … I need to touch shoulders with someone 🙁
I have an informant down in some unknown shanty town and she disclosed Depression’s exact location. Now I know where this dude called depression lives. My informant told me that he’s this creepy guy who works as a crypt caretaker at the local church.
Before trapping his victims late at night, he patronizes this one makeshift brothel in the town where my informant occasionally serves as a dominatrix. Now I am hatching a plan to kill this fucker and end him once and for all. He lives in some shack sequestered away in swampland somewhere at the fringes of this town. All I need is a […]
Motivated
Hard work
Constructive
Self pity
Sloth
Suicide
Money
Relationships
Happiness
Dreams
I told my sister I was sick and she didn’t believe me. Not until I mailed her a suicide note and travelled to a far away destination where I booked a cottage to kill myself. She sent me a lot of texts telling me how much she loved me but it was too late. Ingested the poison but was discovered by one of the custodians, rushed to hospital and later shipped back home where I was committed to a psyche ward.
All this happened 2 months ago. I am still here and still standing. Trying to recover from that nasty experience is not an easy task. Finding […]
I talked to one of my favorite musicians on fb today about a certain song he made talking about his struggle with depression and suicide. Turns out that he still battles depression. This reinforced to me the fact that I can still live out my dreams even in the face of depression coz this dude still makes music and tours the world to spread his art regardless. I am inspired. 🙂 Oh and the title of the song is “Dead Dreams” …
“It could turn out that your depression isn’t all because there is something wrong with you but more because you are trapped in a materialistic culture with skewed values. You might find that walking away from everything that you’ve been trained to hunger for liberates you.”
If I wrote a book about the various house-hold chemicals you can use to kill yourself, I’d be a best selling author. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve researched this method. But I stopped those plans and I am now taking medicine and going for counselling. My therapist shows me techniques on how to deal with pressure and it really helps. A little bit of positivity is starting to creep back in and the dark cloak on my mind is slowly being unfurled. But I gotta admit, I do have some dark days but I always find ways of controlling my thoughts. Something that […]
I just need someone I can talk to, skype me at keizy.paul1 … If you wanna vent or talk about other nerd stuff and life in general 🙂