I’m in two minds when someone asks me if I’m ok. Part of me want’s to say “of course not, do I look like I’m fine?” The other part of me keeps thinking  “wow, someone noticed I’m not ok, maybe I’m not so worthless.” Opinions?
I don’t know who to trust no surprise
(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies
(Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit)
(Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet)
(All I ever think about is this)
(All the tiring time between)
(And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me)
[Chorus]
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you
Tension is building inside steadily
(Everyone feels so […]
The voice in the back of my head telling me I’m useless is really starting to piss me off…
pretending to be normal is so exhausting. not to mention that I can’t sleep, and haven’t for three days. wish I could sleep. Things might be a little better if I could.
^ yup.
not to mention that my dog may have cancer. those of you who had read my previous posts may understand how much she means to me
I tried. I really, really did. But it’s never good enough, is it?
So yesterday morning I decided to talk to my managers and get help. The really listened. One of them drove me to the hospital where I said I wanted to be put on a hold. The doctors ran a few tests and decided that it was best for me to go home. My parents had to get me, and because I’m 19, the doctors didn’t tell my parents anything, so I basically got yelled at by my mom, who won’t really talk to me now. My dad said that he’d look into making me an appointment at the base clinic. But so far, the people […]
All I want right now is to kill myself. I’m jut sitting in my bed shaking and crying because I’m afraid to move. I don’t want to be alone right now but no one wants to talk to me…and I’m scared
I’m going to get help Friday. I’ll tell my manager that I’m not ok. That’s the only thing I can think of, since I can’t drive.
I could give up and just die.
My first plan to get help involves cuttin my arm really really badly and somehow getting to an ER, where they place me on a 72 hr hold and call my parents. Opinion anyone?
I just want to die. I want it all to be over. I once wanted the military, but after dislocating my patella they most likely won’t take me. Its gotten to the point where when I collect carts from the lot (I work at king soopers) I hope that someone just runs me over. I ended my relationship with someone who really cared about me, because I don’t want him to have to deal with this crap, and then I bought 10 new razor blades. they were on sale.
I want to stop feeling like this, or at least try. So how do I tell my extremely military style parents that I would liketihet mental help? Keep in mind that this will ruin any chance of me going into the military, and invalidate my current application.
ended my relationship through a “mutual agreement”. Now I’m alone. I like alone…
i cut myself too deep today. took an hour before i could stop the bleeding, still feel weird and tingly. so, good thing is now i know what to do, but still feels pretty good
I’ve started cutting vertically lately. I can say, going up and down feels better for me, but I have much more room if I go horizontally. perhaps I’ll go both ways…crosshatch it
can antibiotics make you more suicidal or mess with your mind?
Well, I’m still here. Chickened out on Halloween. Had to work late, and my boyfriend decided to stay with me at work. When I got home I was about to take a whole bunch of NyQuil and sleeping pills, then he messaged me on Facebook. We just talked about random shit, and I decided I couldn’t leave without an explanation. Or without anyone knowing what’s going on in my mind. So I’m stuck here.
still doing it on halloween. refining my final plans now. Figuring out how to word my letter, well, e-mail.
Do you really know? You think the scars are beautiful, but do you know how I got them? Do you know what I think about every time someone calls me useless or stupid? Can you understand how it feels when the others stare at me because my sleeve rolled up? Can you help?