I have reached out to friends and family. I’ve talked to them about being suicidal. No one has said what I need to hear. I’m always thinking that maybe I should get help, but wondering if I really need it. I guess I don’t know what I need to hear. I know that one of these days, I won’t be able to go on. When I have anxiety and start to worry too much, I imagine my own death by my own hand. This usually calms me down. Most days, everything is fine, but I just can’t ever get out of my head and away […]
i feel all alone.
sometimes i just do not think i am going to make it.
one of these times i will be right.
maybe tomorrow. maybe tonight.
it is a nice night for a flight.
I never have time for this site anymore. :/
How is everyone?
It’s been a while since I posted. I’ve been super busy with my new cashier job… Which makes me want to cut my arms open. I drive 40 minutes to stand in one spot for 8 hours doing the same thing over and over, making min. wage. Everything is all wrong. This life is too much. My family is in pieces, my love life is falling right behind it, I’ve lost all my friends and become addicted to drugs and shit…
They keep telling me I’m crazy and I need help so I just keep telling them to shove it. I may be crazy but I’d […]
Exhausted and feeling like total hell.
Excuse me while I go puke until I die.
):
It’s kind of stupid but I have the worst anxiety when it comes to stuff like this… My new job is tomorrow and I’ve been freaking out all week about it, having anxiety attacks like mad. I feel like everything is going to go wrong. I feel pressured and sad when it should be exciting. ): What’s WRONG with me?? I want to quit life sometimes.
I’m frickin’ tired. Ready to pass out. :/
I’ve been off pills for a while, so this feels bad. Like my butterflies died.
Sometimes I disappoint myself…
So I’m kind of hooked on the idea of starting an ask blog. Sort of like SP but with anon and advice, daily inspirational posts, stuff like that…
What do you guys think? Â Hit, or miss?
It’s been a week. It’s already hard to stay strong, but I try…
I was having a brilliant dream.
I want to go back. I want to be dream me. :/
It was the weirdest dream I’ve had in a while, but it was great because the reason it was so weird was that it was so vivid and realistic. The kind of thing where you wake up and go, “wait…” Ha.
But then you realize none of it is real.
My heart hurts.
THE RULES:
1. when you feel like you want to cut, take a marker or pen and draw a butterfly on wherever the self-harm occurs.
2. name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.
3. NO scrubbing the butterfly off.
4. if you cut before the butterfly is gone, it dies. if you don’t cut, it lives.
5. if you have more than one, cutting kills them all.
6. another person may draw them on you. these butterflies are extra special. take good care of them.
7. even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a […]
This song is really close to home for me, I thought a lot of you could probably relate.
Am I just floating around in this moment of time and space? It makes me wonder. A state of mind, ’cause I’m just fading away, and my head is lost up in the satellites. I’m so far and gone to ever get it right. Through unseeing eyes, day dreaming again.
Eternity is seemingly an endless waiting. Lost in forever. Eternally, a limitless time. It’s never ending. I’m lost in forever.
Am I just hanging around all alone in my mindless haze? It takes me under. […]
I finally got a job yesterday. I’m kinda excited, but I know the feeling won’t last, so it’s hard. I just gotta get out of here and maybe things will get better.
How is everyone’s day going?
And screwed up my hand from punching shit after taking too many prescription pills. I slept in my car. I’m tired, it’s always like trying to walk through quicksand. When I start questioning what the reward at the end will be, I realize it’s a big fuckin’ bag of dildos. We’re gonna die either way so why am I still struggling now? I wish somebody could just take me away from all of this, from myself, all the heartache, and make it better again. Everything’s just come apart at the seams, and I know I’m next.
I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to…
But sometimes it just feels like, “HOW can I go on??”
)’:
A lot of people on this website are just looking for someone to chat with who understands them…
My name is Katie, my e-mail is Kathrrryn@yahoo.com, and though I can’t connect to your specific situation exactly, I’m always willing to listen, and am usually pretty understanding. I’ve been through a lot, myself.
Anyone can message me any time with their inquiries and I’ll be there as much as possible.
(But please don’t abuse my e-mail!)
How many fucking things can go wrong? Just when you think it can’t get worse…
Sighhhh. I just want to cut and pop. Gets tough to fight the urges.
:/
I’m sick of doing so much shit for everyone around me and getting nothing in return. I’m nice as can be 24/7, even to people I can’t stand, and all I get back is, you got it, NOTHING. That or they treat me even worse. I’m just tired. What’s the point? Why bother being nice to people who are just going to screw you over, ignore you, stab you in the back, and treat you like trash? Not to mention I’m ALWAYS the third wheel. I pay for everything when I can, I treat everyone like freaking royalty and I’m starting to think they don’t […]
You’re thirsty for life, yet, so eager to die.
When you reach for the stars, you fall from the sky.
To tell you the truth, life is only a lie.
You fear yourself, but you don’t question why.
You’re hungry for more than lonely nights.
Thinking you’ll learn to fly if you reach for the light.
When you realize the truth, you’ll give up the fight.
Did you ever forget that you’re empty inside?
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