I remember the last time I wrote in this site. (Sorry for english mistakes , brasilian here) I wasn´t even on meds yet. I didn´t realize how fucking dificult things could become. And they did. Now my parents “Know”. And I say” know” beaucse , despite what 3 doctors say to them , they still think what I have it´s just a fase , or it´s hormonal , or even that I´m making up all this crap just as an excuse for beeing in a crappy mood and getting bad grades at school. The pills don´t make any diference , and the pain is justgettig […]
Well , here I am , forced to live day after day in this shitty life. Now I´m ashamed , now that some of them know. No one never knew , and I wish I just stayed alone forever. I really like lonliness more than it looks , because is human company that´s making me so miserable. And why to have a tiny moment of insane hapiness , and then having the old blue days again? I just can´ t stand it. Im back from the hospital. They´re cheking my wrists everyday now , but do they really care? It ´s just another lie , […]
I just realised that lonliness only hurts if you fight against it. You can make your lonliness your own company.
Please read it. It´s mabye the least thing I´ll let this world. (Sorry for the bad english , brazilian here  the çletter was originaly in portuguese , and as I dont have the patinecie to re-wtrite it , it google traducted it.)
Well, my family if you are reading this now, I already am no longer among you. I know, strange, even more for you than ever realized how I was feeling alone, abandonada.Não for you, and of course, my choice was to abandon them, especially my mother, for staying with you and pretend to be this family happy while you secretly let out their venom […]
She paints a beautifull picture
but her storie had a twist
her paint brush was her razor
and her cannavas , her wrist
She screems for help
but there is no one there
just a shinny metal
RAZOR BLADE!
She cuts and she feels alive
she crys
the pain is the only thin that keep her
in life
She can´t take anymore
she is going to be mad
survive is not an option
since she is already DEAD!
Inside….Inside…Inside
Inside…INSIDE , INSIDE , INSIDE INSIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
She is losing her life
And the last thing she sees
is her bloody knife besides her
she is finaly free
They found her
But is […]
You must have wuestionned it once. Or twice. It´s a lame  question, I admit it. (Sorry for my bad english , Brazilian here.) But it´s really how life goes to me right now. I once had friends. But now they are just faces. They still think I´m ok… But I guess I´ll never be anymore. I don´t think there is a place where I can acctualy be heard. I´m alone here , as usual , and triyng to forget all the stupid things I´ve done. I mean , there isn´t no one to blame right? I´m just the only one. Many kids don´t have any […]