Why am I so alone?

You must have wuestionned it once. Or twice. It´s a lame  question, I admit it. (Sorry for my bad english , Brazilian here.) But it´s really how life goes to me right now. I once had friends. But now they are just faces. They still think I´m ok… But I guess I´ll never be anymore. I don´t think there is a place where I can acctualy be heard. I´m alone here , as usual , and triyng to forget all the stupid things I´ve done. I mean , there isn´t no one to blame right? I´m just the only one. Many kids don´t have any parents. It´s not because I hate mine and they hate me , it´s not just because they beat me every day that I have the right to think my sadness is bigger than others. You may think that I m just some spoiled kid that doesn´t  appreciate her parents. But I really tried to get along with them. But when they are around , the thing just go worser. I don´t trust in anyone anymore. No one knows I´ve tried to kill myself twice . only my best friend , who´s dead now. Because I couldn´t stop her to do the same thing I tried to do twice , and failed miserably.  And then there is just the razor blade …

The pain is the only thing I have to prove myself that I´m real.