When I look back upon my life, I see the many pitfalls I otherwise naively walked into. All the potential and talent wasted because I had convinced myself it would be a worthless endeavor. I never believed I was intelligent even when I heard it said of me. I had thought, if I am so smart – then why does it all seem so dumb? Why were others so capable of being satisified in the struggle of accomplishing something? All I wanted was to be distracted. Distracted from what was wanted, needed, desired, and/or demanded of me. Not that I wanted to become lazy, or […]
Author
Killstead
Here I am. Another night, another thought; like the nights before, and like the thoughts before. Only difference tonight being a Google search and bumbling into this website.
Well, sigh. Here goes.
My story starts about 18 years or so ago, back when I was 12. I wasn’t actively thinking about suicide before this time, but they put me on the mind destroying drug Ritalin and the rest is history. It was Xmas eve, and I had made a super potent spicy drink for ‘Santa’. Well, my naive little mind thought I had made the drink so strong that it was going to kill my mother. Of […]