Nurses whispered, like a constant buzzing
Looking down on us, judging us
She rested on the bed next to me
Sick from the pills they gave her
Listen        Â
Follow
Conform
In a place where friendship is weakness
Eleven is too old for trust
Never asked but always taken
Pain is exchanged for freedom
Smile
Adapt
Recover
Running scorching water over my hands
The first time I tried to burn
Unyielding ghosts clung to me
She watched lazily from her bed
Haunting
Deceiving
Thief
Last night I crashed.
Isn’t it funny.
The higher you are.
The harder you fall.
No one was home.
No one saw.
When the water burned.
Leaving trails of red.
I used to tell him.
Now he doesn’t care.
I think it scared him.
I can’t ask.
He’s gone.
Last night I was warned again.
 Last night i was dancing on the line.
They’ve had enough.
I’m going back.
I won’t go quietly.
I’d rather die than fade
Now I sit alone at the library. The question keeps running through my head “Were is there to go when you can’t go home?”
 I had been getting better. The seroquel, miracle pills, had been working. Yeah I wasn’t normal, not even close, but they helped. While they do nothing in the way of suicidal fanticies they had helped my be less violent, less angry, less of bitchy me.
That time is gone. They stopped working. I’m not weak. I’m not the kind of person who sits and cries. I don’t feel the need to whine about it’s not fair. I’m just… pissed.
So I’m stuck here. Waiting and […]
I’m putting together a suicde playlist (songs about suicide and songs to commit suicide to). So far all I have is Goodbye (I’m Sorry) by Jamestown Story. Does anyone know any good ones?
Thin lines on her arm
Hidden by her clothes
Cutting deeper and deeper
Because no one knows
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She’s just a girl
Not strong enough to stop
A strange addiction
Watching blood drop
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She loves the scars
She needs the pain
It frees her sad
It keeps her sane
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It’s never enough
To ruin her flesh
She moves up her arm
She inches towards death
When I don’t take my Meds I lose track of my myself. I sink in to a depression. The darkness takes over. All I can think of is my demons. All the mistakes I’ve made, the people I’ve hurt, those who I’ve lost are stuck in my head. The memories replaying again and again until I want to die.
I hate all those how rant about how suicide is a sin. I think they just fear death and that makes them feel weak. They hide their weakness behind walls of hate.
Suicide is not a sin. It is not a weakness. It takes strength to do. So many times I have […]
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