Left-on-Dead

I just want to disappear. Not completely, not off the face of there Earth. Just disappear from everyone who knows me. Disappear from everything that brings me down in life. Disappear from everyone that an extensive, lasting bond has been formed with. Because frankly, not every one of these bonds is a positive or fruitful bond. In fact some are quite the opposite, yet they’re bonded nonetheless and it is one that cannot be broken for some time.

I want to disappear and travel to a portion of the world where I can be me. Do my things. Not be judged. Be recognized of the capabilities […]

There are many people in my life who have immense belief in my capabilities. Yet every day is a struggle. Some days far less than others.

Yet, with so much belief in me, and so much love and respect given. I still sit at the end of my bed. Staring down the barrel of my . 308

I need help. Tomorrow is my fist appt with a therapist since March of last year. Back then they told me I have bipolar depression and anxiety. What did I do? Try to take it on by myself.

I need help. But why? Why can’t I just fix myself?