I have always been a social inadequate, I just can’t, I just don’t care.
I’m afraid of the people, it just gives me so much anxiety thinking of having to be in front of people, of having to be accepted.
I just can’t, I just can’t. Fuck society, screw having to be accepted and live in a world where you have to meet the expectations.
Suicide is not a selfish act, selfish are those who expect that one should not commit suicide because your family and friends will suffer, because they love you. Yes, I love them as well, and I respect them, but my personal journey, my personal decisions that affect the core of my self are mine and should be left alone.
And fuck yes, I see the inconsistency between me asking to respect me and my hate for the society. But we all have our double standards. Double standards are base on which society is ruled. Double standards that have shape the lack of real justice in our society. Therefore double standards should also be used to punish and fuck the system every once in a while. You know, put the tip of you finger in society’s ass.
It is this that brings the urge to make of the act of suicide a double-standard-protest against the double standards. Kill myself while fucking up society in the ass a little bit. Fuck the people at the root of their hopes, cause they fuck mine. Embrace the freaking madness and let it be what i has to be, against whoever it has to be.