tired
ignored
forgotten
stupid
broken
alone
scarred
cut
bare
done.
-when a horse almost killed me
-getting my hand stuck in the toilet hole thing.
-getting licked in the face by some random person on the street when i was crying
-my mother finding cuts on my wrists while i was “sleeping”
-my dream of running with a chicken in my arms and throwing it in the air only for it to turn into a pokemon and fly away
-getting caught watching porn
– catching my brother watching porn
-watching porn..
– singing like a dying animal thinking i was alone outside. then finding out that there were guys from my highschool there outside.
-carrots
This one time I saw a little girl eating ice cream and playing with her little brother. Her hair was puffy and cute. Full of volume. she had glasses and she looked happy. She was smiling. She looked about 7-8 years of age. When i saw her my heart filled with joy of how cute she looked. i wanted to hug her because she looked really cute, but all I did was yell “oh my god look at that child’s hair!” and i pointed at her. Like a *****. LIKE AN IDIOT. I went home and didn’t say a word to anyone. I locked myself […]
i have no meaning. my mother never taught me anything valuable. only to sit quitely, and to have good grades. i suppose i have to find something meaningfull all by myself. i want to find something that will be worth living for. it could be anything, i dont care what it is just as long as i have a reason to live. if i dont have a reason i feel extremely lost. ha… im an idiot
“How can a person possiblly stay sane life? i shouldnt be complaining i know i should be happy. i have everything i would ever need, why the fuck is it so impossible to be happy.. where the fuck is the good in life? i cant see it or feel it anywhere. its all bullshit. its all just some sick fucking joke isnt it. who the fuck wants to live in a a world like this? where is god? creator of all good? there is nothing for me. i have no one. i hate myself. fuck you aileen. your just a fucken mistake. just like everyone told you […]
im everything thats wrong
and nothing that is right
she tells me im ugly
and i would never become anything
i am worthless to her
but she still keeps me…
as if i was her toy
her little stress doll
just being constricted by her very own
pain
it fucken kills me to know
that my own mother is ashamed of me
i have apoligized to her many times before
for being me..
i can’t get fucken through this
everything she ever told me is still in my head
because of her
i hurt myself before
and i still struggle not to hurt myself today
i convince myself everyday
that there are people out there
hurting more than i do
kids
who suffer without doing anything to deserve it
im […]