So, for my English class, I have to read Night by Elie Wiesel. I do not like reading about the Holocaust, because I am prone to nightmares. I don’t mean the fun kind, where you’re on a ship with Odysseus passing under Scylla and you know you’re going to wake up, because it’s a nightmare based off of ancient fiction. This is the kind of nightmare that you know real people lived and died, and there are pictures and film to prove it. Yes, the night I read the book, I dreamed that my school had gone Third Reich Etc Etc. I told my dad […]
I read the Hunger Games three times through. I enjoyed them very much. I don’t know why. On the surface, it’s only a story of death and slaughter and twisted human nature. Deeper in, it’s a story of fighting for what you believe and hope, maybe. But the death, and slaughter, and not caring that my perception barely scratched the surface. In those books, so many people died, a bunch of them coughing on their own bodily fluids.
My aunt and I went out to the movies to see it. It was the last movie she saw. A few nights later, she choked on her blood. It made […]
I need stability and a clear mind.
In July, my best, Eleanor, lost* her father.
In August, she lost* her mother. Eleanor and her brother then moved into her grandmother’s house.
In September, her aunt flew down from Brooklyn. Eleanor, her brother, and her grandmother moved to NYC with the aunt. By and by, in my own personal life, my uncle died suddenly. I was very close to him and needed him very much.
In early October, my english teacher had two heart attacks in very quick succession, and she died.
Let me clear something up: I am not sad that these people died. It sounds cold, but let me explain. In the […]
What’s Destiny? To me, it’s the thing that gets formed by every choice we ever make, and everybody’s destiny is intertwined and if one person messes up their own life, it’ll affect everybody else. Maybe like the butterfly/hurricane theory? Dunno.. Just wanna hear someone’s opinion.
They tore me up
And they spit me out
And they squeezed my organs
And they fouled my name
And they smashed my heart against the chilly Earth
And they tried to tape it back together with their cheap corner store tape
And their false declarations
Of their false love
And false friendship
And false sincerity,
And they failed miserabley
And they Scarred My Heart.
Invisible tears are the hardest to wipe away.
I am crying. I am screaming out, asking for help. Is anybody helping me?
No. Is anybody even TRYING to help me?
It sure doesn’t seem like it. Can anybody even hear me?
I don’t know. Maybe they’ll hear, when I’m screaming harder, louder, when my throat is raw, and it’s nearly too late. I don’t know.
I don’t even know if I’m being heard by my friends. Definitely not by my mum.
I don’t think anybody even knows I am shedding tears, even when they are visible, literally streaming down my face, and making my neck sticky.
Elle once told me I look […]
…she would like it very much to live in a printed world. Where everything is written out, where Fate is written out. Where a little girl, whose heart is lost, must only move through the magic in the letters. Where she can define her own character and is not forced into a mould of someone else’s ideas. She would like it very much to be written into a family’s Sunday supper, with good food set on the neatly pressed table cloth. She would like to hug her mother and father goodnight, and crawl between the covers of her little bed. She would like to sleep soundly at […]