who ever said high school was the best time of their lives should be taken out onto the street and shot. i told everyone the truth. im suicidal and i hate being alive. they all thought i was just angry. cutting seems to be becoming very poplar in my town. my friend nick cuts scittles cuts my ex cuts my cuzin cuts. i used to cut my bio/mom cut, her sister cut. god im so sick of just living. their always telling me cheer up carla find something that makes u happy and stick with it. now that they all know the truth they look […]
lost tears
i feel like im standing in a hourglass, sand pouring down on my head. sand in my mouth my eyes my lungs, sands in everything. im running out of time. soon the sand will replace the oxegen. and the worst part everyones standing around my hourglass prision laughing, pointing. if i can only get to the glass but the sands already to my shoulders, im going to die. if i was a better person i could escape my hourglass prision, and be free. but instead the sand still falls around me and im still running out of time
im sick of being the fallback plan the last resort i want to be the only choice
when we first met he called me a lesbian, i hit him with a 2by4. i was placed in a foster home that was right next to his house. i lived by him for a couple of months in that time for a short time i was his friend. i thought i was in love with him. i was wrong.
i just dont know why i kissed my worst enemy. if any of u can explain this to me please do. im so lost and confused
they say im handling everything so well. they dont see the pain do they? i wsh i could feel something other then this hollow pain. sometimes i just want to press stop so i can breath. the people who love me should give their love to those who need it more. sometimes i feel so ugly and empty and i wonder why God could make someone like me? my counciler says dont stop feeling, but thats what i want to do, stop feeling. she told me to stop trying to wave my pain away and that my pain matters. whay does it matter? faking has […]
‘do you know how much i want to kiss you?’
‘thats proably not a smart idea’
‘im not a smart girl’
i kissed him. and he kissed me back. he tasted like sherbert from earlier. his kiss was gentle , not what i expected. he has such a narrow nose and a funny smile. james kisses never felt like that. i dont want aboyfriend and he doesnt want agirlfriend. but i want to kiss him agian! i want to know if itll feel the same! he kissed my nose. james never did that. then agian they are nothing alike. i never felt anything when kissing james. my mind […]
i feel like just another sob story whats the point of talking about the past. my councilers say it makes u feel beter me it only brings up old pain. im Carla my biological mom had me in high school. then she had my brother out of high school. my dad was never around. some say i wouldve died if it hadnt been for my greatgramma. she died a couple years after i turned 6. my mom was a junkie her suplier was her boyfriend my oldest sisters dad. he hit her and me and my brother. one time when he was drunk he took […]