ive been thinking alot lately. We all know where that leads us. But I think I really should be dead. No one cares for me in my life, no one even cares on this website. I should’ve died. How nooses n pills n razors n 30 amps of electricity didn’t kill me I don’t know. But I’m positive this 12gauge will. So to all of you who won’t be missing me, adieu. I’ll see you all in oblivion.
I found a girlfriend. I thought Id feel whole with someone to love. But somehow I feel the same. I feel like I’m just going to let her down or scare her away. Like I should just end it before either of us gets too attached. No one wants to be the girl whose boyfriend killed himself…
I’m still questioning life. I don’t know what to do. I have 2 years until I can leave this place, but I can’t live here for another minute. I’m ugly and horrible, I’m failing high school, I’m slowly becoming a monster. I can’t take anymore of life. If I can’t die, what can I do?
I’ve gotten a request or two for my story so here it goes. I was born into a fading family. My dad bailed n left my mom, leaving her with a 4 year old son and me, an unborn child. She decided she couldn’t care for both of us, so she gave me to my adoptive parents. They’re possibly two of the worst people on the planet. From age one, they imposed their wills on me. They hovered around me constantly and everything I did had to be approved. My dad liked to “play fight” and manipulate my joints to cause pain. He threw me […]
al fin hay nada. No hay dolor ni olor. Solo Paz. La Paz que Estoy buscando. Mis padres se puede vete al infierno con todo el mundo que me odia. chingase. Chinga toda. Mi vida es mierda y no va a mejorar. Solo vuelva peor y Estoy enferma de esa. Qiero morir. Ya querido por años pero no tengo la valedida a matarme. No puedo vivir pero no puedo morir. Mierda.
i was doing good. I had gone a week without a single relapse. But then, like something wanted me to do it, I found my razor on the floor, just sitting there. It wasnt there before. But there it was. All the pain and suffering I feel, all the hate and frustration I have, it all hit me at once. And there was my ticket to euphoria… Relapse number four since I left the mental hospital… Proof that I’m too far gone to save anymore.
“How can they know how it feels,” I ask my self as I’m crying, “To wake up the next morning and realize that you’ve just failed at dying? To drone on day after day searching for a reason, just one reason to stay?” They said they really cared for me and i was dumb enough to believe them. I trusted them, i lived for them, and now i never see ’em. They ran away, scared today to think of what ive become. A monster, a coward, a harbringer of a life thats become undone. And so I’ll end my solemn poem with these words i […]
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