so i overdosed and was in the ICU for over a week . my heart rate was above 150 and my blood pressure was above 200/150 when i first was admitted to the ER and my lungs were completely filled with fluid . my heart almost stopped and the ICU doctor from my hometown said i had a 30% chance of living , if i was lucky . the GI doctor took 3 hours to clean out my stomach and if i had taken any more than i did i would have died . i was quickly rushed from my hometown’s ER to Stanford Children’s […]
do you ever feel like you’re already dead ? like you aren’t really living , just going thru the motions of life and hoping to fit in ? do you really feel alive ? just curious .. – xoxo , Li <3
i’m gaining weight again and tbh it makes me feel so fucking gross i hate myself for eating and not running enough to burn off all the calories . my birthday is coming up in like a week and a half and god knows i’ll probably be stupid and eat cake and not run after . i’m slowly slipping back into the headspace i was in when i was 71 pounds and tbh i either am gonna lose a lot of weight and feel really good or i’m gonna be hospitalized again .. whatever . i need to be skinnier regardless of what my doctor […]
i’m bleeding out
in my bathtub tonight
don’t be scared
darling you’ll be fine
*
i’m bleeding out
i’ll be dead by sunrise
don’t be scared
i promise it’s alright
*
i’m bleeding out
it’s done now , i see light
don’t be scared
you’ll win this fight
.
.
.
– xoxo , Li <3
hush little baby , you’re almost dead
you don’t have a pulse and your pillow is red
your family hates you , your friends let you bleed
sleep tight with a knife , it’s all that you need
*
rockabye baby , broken and scarred
you didn’t know life would be this hard
time to end the pain that you hid so well
and down will go baby , straight back to hell
its my step dads birthday today and i genuinely wanna throw up thinking about him . he’s such a poor excuse for a human being like why did i ever have to be forced to have him as a part of my life ? it’s sick . whatever tho , catch me crying in the bathroom after i’m forced to go see him today . – xoxo , Li <3
please don’t victim blame
please don’t call victims weak
please don’t say entitlement is the cause of everyone’s struggles
please don’t make your struggles a contest
please don’t belittle other people because you think you have it worse
please don’t be ignorant
please don’t do anything to make anyone’s life harder than it already is
thank you .
– xoxo , Li <3
when i heard of your death
i picked up my knife
and cut at my throat
until i saw the light
*
i made a big mess
blood on the floor
smeared little handprints
all over the door
*
i wrote them a note
explaining my pain
said i couldn’t go on
that death was my aim
*
and guess what angel
i did it , just like you
so up in heaven
i’ll see you soon <3
.
.
.
heres a poem i wrote a few days ago about a friend who took their life . enjoy – xoxo , Li <3
so i just saw my EX best friends name flash across my screen and am currently having pretty bad flashbacks . sometimes i wonder why i had to meet him and go thru so much pain if he didn’t even stay when i needed him the very most . other times i’m grateful for him and i wish i had never told him to leave . anyway my life is a shit show and idk what’s going on anymore but whatever i’ll ( hopefully ) be okay 🙁 .. well , someday . – xoxo , Li <3
quick question for u guys . what makes u happy , if anything does ? -xoxo , Li <3
listen , little angel
you’re almost there
just one more cut
now don’t be scared
*
listen , little angel
you’re almost free
just one more cut
so do it for me
*
listen , little angel
you’re almost dead
just one more cut
don’t shake your head
*
look , little angel
you won this fight
now close your eyes
and see the light
.
.
.
i feel like i’m never gonna get better like nothing seems to be getting better and i feel like i’m drowning in my pain and honestly idk what to do anymore cuz i wanna die but i wouldn’t even know where to […]
broken bones and suicides
“ i’m okay ” , believe the lies
cut wrists , cut thighs
late at night i sit and cry
*
razor blades and jaded knives
we’re all fighting for our lives
broken wings , broken hearts
watch this world tear me apart
*
screaming inside and crying now
you hid the pain , now take a bow
cut my hips then cut my throat
for this is my suicide note
.
.
.
uhhhhhhh hi guys so i’m new here . i’ve so far been diagnosed with anorexia , depression , anxiety , ptsd , and bipolar disorder type 1 . my name is Lilith ( it’s the 3rd […]