Author

love.lost.gone

by love.lost.gone 2/5/2013

written by love.lost.gone

there are no words capable of expressing how much she has broken me.

i hope she never has the audacity to ask why.

i have a plan and a date already set, but i don’t think i can suffer this heartache for 76 more days.

i could never stop loving her. when i promised her my heart it was forever and always, no matter what. when she promised hers, it was only until something else comes along. i will not break my promise and become like her and like everyone else. my hearts last breath with be only for her, even if she has become so horrible and […]

2/5/2013 19 comments

by love.lost.gone 1/23/2013

written by love.lost.gone

how do you convey to someone that it isn’t their fault, but they are the reason?

how do you tell someone not to blame themselves for your death, but if they would have only listened and been there, then so too would you still be there?

is it possible at all to leave them with the full understanding that while you did not go with anger or resentment for them and their inaction… you still chose to die because they chose to leave you?

i am having trouble writing my final letters, and if anyone has any thoughts on how to properly express the above sentiments i would […]

1/23/2013 11 comments

it doesn’t happen

by love.lost.gone 1/20/2013

written by love.lost.gone

i keep finding reasons to stay later and later at work… in the hopes that while walking back to my car i will be violently assaulted and killed. i evenÂ deliberately park in the dark vacant part of the lot. two things though. 0ne, i don’t really work in a very high (violent) crime area. and two, i am a guy, not a whisp of a guy, but not a huge truck of a guy either. it’s sad, but statistically speaking, i would be more likely to be assaulted if i were a woman. not that i approve of it happening to others… it’s just […]

1/20/2013 3 comments

i miss her. i love her. i need her.

by love.lost.gone 1/19/2013

written by love.lost.gone

you were inside my head
creating constellations in my mind,
and every breath i drew
was one last prayer to the stars.
in my dreams i felt your touch
lingering softly,
as together we imagined
our beautiful and divine universe.

1/19/2013 3 comments

on the nature of love… any help would be kind.

by love.lost.gone 1/17/2013

written by love.lost.gone

in the hopes and pursuit of love, even a damaged and broken love, where is the line between determined devotion and the space, time and distance needed to be able “miss” someone.

basically, i am unable to think clearly because my heart is in so much pain. i want to reach out every day and try my hardest to prove i won’t give up on her… on “us” really, but she has to be able to miss me too.

how do i ardently pursue her, and at the same time allow her to feel my absence enough to wish me to return?

any thoughts from any one would […]

1/17/2013 2 comments

by love.lost.gone 12/30/2012

written by love.lost.gone

in every moment
there has always been
and will always be
you

never created and
never ending
you are my love
eternal

your beauty speaks
by countless stars
i hear them
i see you

far away and into time
my truth waits
not for me
but for you

~for marianna. my best friend, my love and my entire reason. she is that which beautiful dreams of becoming. she is the joy in my heart and the whisper in my breath. she is my everything…and why i am now nothing.

12/30/2012 1 comment

i am not ok

by love.lost.gone 12/5/2012

written by love.lost.gone

i just had to say it.

i want to tell her, but she won’t care.

so now i am left simply being not ok.

12/5/2012 1 comment

by love.lost.gone 12/1/2012

written by love.lost.gone

we hang on to hope, in every hopelessly irrational way that we can.

but every one has their limits…

when we are able without cause or reason, pursue that which is most important to us, we become guided by faith, love, and truth.

that is, personal truth, without which, we never existed to begin with.

in love i do believe. it is my personal truth. it is my cause to both live and die.

what is yours?

12/1/2012 3 comments