I have been ready to end it all for months now, but then one of my family members beat me to it. Now I feel like it’s just bad timing. Everyone will think I did it for attention, when that’s the last thing I want. I just want the pain to not exist anymore. For me to not exist anymore. I don’t want a service or a burial, I actually wish they could just dispose of my body, and go on with their lives.
About a year ago I told my mother that I do not believe in God, and she asked me why would I […]
“Wish I would go back, I could go back to no-one
Wish I would go back, I could go back to nothing
Sweet oblivion”
I keep ruining everything. My mom told me today that she absolutely hates me, and that I am truly an ugly person. I completely agree with what she said, but it still hurts. I always thought the one person in this world who is supposed to love you unconditionally is your mother, but she can’t even tolerate me anymore.
My mom took my sister and went to stay at my grandpa’s house. The dumbest move she made today was leaving me alone with my thoughts. I really think she is hoping to come back and find me dead, so she can finally close this chapter of […]
Why do people say it’s selfish to end your own life?
What’s so selfish about ending your own suffering?
Why do people make your suicide mission about them?
Why is it always “You don’t want to be remembered like that, do you”?
Do you know the constant battle that’s going on inside my head?
Do you know that self harm is the only thing that makes me feel in control of my life?
Are you there every night when I cry myself to sleep?
Do you understand it’s a miracle I’m not already dead?
Those are the only two emotions I feel anymore..
When I’m mad I turn into a monster, and feel like I have zero control over myself. This rage is like a hurricane destroying everything, and everyone in my way.
When I’m sad I cry about every little thing, and I mean EVERYTHING.. Someone looks at me the wrong way, and I start tearing up. Something very minor happens in a T.V show, I start balling my eyes out.
My mother is always saying that I need to get out of this “funk” I’m in. What she doesn’t realize is that I honestly cannot remember a time where I […]
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