So, I have just confessed to my boyfriend of almost 5 months that I have come to the conclusion that I’m gay. It was possibly one of the most awful things I have had to do. He cried. He loves me. I love him. But I cannot make myself feel sexually attracted to him. I have always thought that I am probably gay but I since I had only dated one guy before him I thought maybe I just wasn’t attracted to that guy in particular. I was going through the same motions as I was in the previous relationship. Except this time I was […]
I’ve recently been told that I could possibly have bipolar disorder. I looked it up, and it sounds similar to what I experience. This isn’t the first time I’ve been told that I have some sort of depression, I’ve heard friends talk about me or even tell me to my face that I should get it checked out. I always try to look my best and happiest when I’m around others but sometimes it apparently either looks too fake and they know something is wrong or they just catch me off guard. I have mood swings, but I’m 17! I thought that was normal. […]
I’m having another episode right now.. it’s really bad. i want something to happen… i either want to end it all right now or i want someone to just help me out of this and figure out what I should do next… I’m tired of waiting and letting this happen over andover again. please.
I was on my way home from a rehearsal on Saturday evening. I wasn’t having a particularly bad day but it wasn’t great either. I don’t know why, but I just became overwhelmed with feelings and all the shit that’s been going on lately. I hate it when this happens. I’ll be completely fine one second and then the next I’m bawling my eyes out or I’m so angry that I start hitting things or myself. i don’t understand why this happens. it’s scary because I was literally standing on the platform at the train station waiting for the train to come so I could […]
so, I don’t know if these things are accurate or not but I’ve been taking a bunch of online depression tests and at different times of day and at different moods just to see if my results change. I’ve done my own research about depression. It’s all pretty much telling my I have Major Depressive Disorder. I can’t believe it. Or I don’t want to. Either was I’m still stuck with all the stigma about depression in my head. I don’t want another illness to deal with. I don’t want to be fucking crazy anymore. Can’t it be something else? Can’t it be fixed with […]
It’s not that I hate my life. I just hate myself. I’m just starting to realize that now but I think it’s been going on longer than that. I just hate everything about me. I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror without wanting to strangle myself for being so disgusting, not only physically but also on the inside. I’m an awful human being and I don’t deserve to be here anymore. I think this now more than ever especially since I’m just coming to realize what a piece of shit I am. The thing that pisses me off if that I know […]
I’m still just waiting for that day to come again. The day where I’m not particularly excited over anything but I’m also not planning how I want to die or thinking about calories and cutting. What happened to all my normal days? The ones that filled the gaps between the good ones and the bad ones. Now it’s all just one big blur of anger and sadness. I hate it so much.
Hi all, I’m 17 yrs old, I”m a senior in high school, and as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve just about given up. I don’t know what to do anymore. This has been the worst 5 months of my life. My grandma, who was one of the only people who made me feel like I was worth something, is gone. I’ve been dealing with eating disorders since I was in the 7th grade and it’s been progressively getting worse since about july. My health is deteriorating, and I just can’t focus on anything that used to be important to me anymore because […]