i have loved words. their complexity. their vain reflection on the paper. their strokes on mcdonnald’s tissue paper as i sat by the corner with a black pen. the way they are tattooed on my thoughts. inked out of precise tune of delicate compilation of strings of grammatical compounds. their manipulative ways of tricking the ones who do not listen. words are by far the most genius and vilest invention. even so, i have loved words since the beginning. their binding ways of reaching out to their other halves, asking, begging to be complete. to be a sentence. their caring ways of understanding attitude. their […]
i don’t deserve your smile. i don’t deserve your laughter. i don’t deserve your caring charm. i dont deserve your attention. i don’t deserve your love. i don’t deserve having you around. i don’t deserve being given second chances to. i don’t deserve your shoulder to cry on. and i don’t deserve to cry, no matter how much of all of this eats me up beneath the calm surface too mangled too tired to be faking so i end up with a dishonest smile spelled almost cynically for anyone who reads the words i slur.
ssup guys ! why all the gloom and sorrow ey ? put it this way. just live your life as it is. if you die along the process, then you die. if you don’t, then you don’t.
i know i know. easier said than done. blach –
depression got me all impervious to life much i guess. but ey, the world isn’t TOTALLY boring. why whine about dying and such. embrace it you self loathing suicide junkies. like say, i have narrowed so far the best way i’d feel like going about it is by jumping of a plane naked (or like, take off the parachute suit […]
but i’m going to have to give this up. i know i have been saying that a lot. but i’m going to see you in a couple of days. so really. really.. my heart is heavy saying this to you and i’m so so feeling so so heavy at the moment. i’ve been too empty for too long that eventually. eventually. it hurts. again.
love. i love you so please, don’t do anything silly if i’m suddenly not there. you know how incredibly unstable i am and have been. you know right ?
one way at a time, i’ll try to lend these broken hands of mine..
as i breathe oxygen i choke and my inner feelings gasp for a different brand of poison, one that would set me asleep for as long as i long for. don’t show me the way out. there isn’t any. don’t waste your time. just cut me deeply. think of me as someone forgotten. after all, i’m no one worth remembering. tell me mindless jokes. fill this night with a bore. for it shall be the last. don’t call my number. a voicemail is all that’d reach you. and no, in case you’re wondering, i am not here to tell you exactly how i got in […]