I’m freaking out. There was a guy on here and he was helping me out and I was doing the same for him. We talked by commenting on one of his posts back and forth. Now the post has been deleted and I can’t find his account and I don’t know what to do. I’m worried sick.
I carved your name into the bullet
so everyone would know
that you were the last thing that went through my head
this has happened once before
the world is closing another door
perhaps tonight
I’ll lose this never ending fight
my wrists will bleed
but done is the deed
I won’t cry this time
my dear, I am not fine
i wish you only knew
what I’ve been going through
don’t you dare pretend you miss me
the hour here is three
and I’m waving goodbye
see you on the flip side
People can just really screw you over sometimes. Each and every person is capable of being disloyal, dishonest, fake, or cruel. so why take the risk? If there is any possible chance that someone will leave or lie or whatever, why go to them for help?
Youre all you’ve got in the world.
Theres nothing that scares me more than the word “alone”. Whenever I hear this, my heart speeds up a bit. I think that’s my biggest fear: being alone. But I am. I can’t trust anyone but myself. And I can’t even trust myself in some situations. It’s terrifying. I am unpredictable. And maybe that […]
I think we all have those things in our heads that just won’t leave. An example of this would be the saying “Nothing lasts forever”. Because of this, I am incapable of commitment. If someone tells me that they’re here for me, i still can’t trust them because they won’t be here for me forever. They will move on like everyone else. It’s the same with relationships. They end. So what’s the point. Itll just end in heartbreak so why the fuck would it matter.
I also can’t seem to shake the thought that everyone is capable of pretending. Pretending to be my friend. Pretending to […]
I am on the track team. At a meet, we are only allowed to run in 4 events. I run in five or as many as my coach will let me.
Most people think about winning while they are running. I think about weight loss.
I can’t walk after I run. My legs won’t work right. I stumble around and try to regain my coordination. I can barely stand but I refuse to let myself sit down due to the fact that if after you run, you sit, your legs tighten up and it makes it difficult to run again. the faster you run, the more weight […]
I’ve been through this before. I thought I was done feeling like this. When I was in sixth grade, I stayed up late to slit my wrists as soon as I heard my parents’ bedroom door close. I cried myself to sleep each and every night. I had a boyfriend and I knew he loved me. Or as close as love got in sixth grade. He was going through the same thing. Except he had and addiction to drugs. Whenever he cut, Â I would Too. I wanted to feel his pain. Maybe I thought it would cut his pain in half. I don’t know.
I continued […]
what bothers me is that there are so many people in the world. so many people are depressed. so many people cut. so many people have lost someone they love. so many people have attempted suicide. so many people have gone through with it. so what makes me any different? Â if I killed myself tonight, why would it matter? I’m one of many so it wouldn’t cause any damage. the world wouldn’t stop so why dont I just do it? how much damage will really be done? not much. the thing is, I’m scared of what will happen if I don’t go through with it. […]