Just feeling like nobody cares. Because why would they? What does caring for someone even mean? Why would you waste your time caring for someone you know is a ticking bomb? Is it so that they won’t be one? Why would any of you care about helping me? Why would any of you care about me? You don’t know me. Do we ever actually care about someone we don’t know? We might? But do we? So what if I don’t know myself. Do I care?
Sitting at the top of the stairs and I can hear you all talking about me. Saying I’m worthless. Saying I’m a terrible daughter. I’m not supposed to be listening, but I’m sitting at the top of the stairs and I can still hear you. Mom, you make me want to kill myself. Dad, where are you now? Sister, why are you adding to the pain that I’ve told you I feel a thousand times? I’m the one that everyone hates. I’m the one that everyone wishes was gone. I can hear you talking about me. Someone help.. I feel like I’m seeking attention posting […]
trying to make it through, my friends try to help but there’s nothing they can do.
hurting so much I can barely move.
time goes by so slow. I look at myself in the mirror screaming no. the blade on my skin feels cold, but seeing the drip makes me feel bold.
my mom is too drunk to care
my dad isn’t anywhere near
my sister is already gone
and everyone wishes it was me.
all these doors are locked and she had the key
so I cut for her and I cut for me.
I can hear her calling. It’s time for me to leave..
HEAVEN and HELL. Are they real? Does GOD exist? I was raised a Christian so all of this should be real to me with no doubt. I do believe in God. I do believe in heaven and hell. And maybe that’s why I’m so afraid? So afraid to like what I like, do what I want to do, dress how I want to dress, and be who I want to be. So much so that I’m ready to just end it all. However, being Church of Christ, if someone commits suicide the consequence is eternity in hell. So what is my way out? I have none. Other than to pretend that I like to […]
Just sitting here in school and all I can think about is cutting. I hadn’t done it in months. And then just like that my heart gets shattered and I’m back to it. Now, I can’t stop thinking about it. The sharp blade, the drip of my blood, the burn after.. I’m missing her like crazy. And she hates me. She never actually cared. She told me that. Showed me, too. She used me. She’s 23 and I’m 17. My mom found out I’m gay and won’t even look at me. Got a text at work last night where she was just reminding me, “Girls […]
I went into the store tonight and bought some sleeping pills. I’ve done this before. But tonight feels different. I want to do it. But I’m scared. But I don’t want to live anymore. You see, I was raised a Christian. Tonight, my mom found out that I like girls. Well, I’m a girl. I had to tell her due to the fact she found out I skipped work tonight.. So I was already in trouble for that….. She asked me why I skipped and I tried to explain with the usual there was drama at work, but she wouldn’t let that be all. Probably […]