I will start with writing about my life and will start with sharing information about a period slighty before that I came to exist in this world. In this period of life my my father-to-be and mother-to-be were going through a rough period of their relationship and which was not stable and while most people with common sense would work on the relationship or choose to go seperateways I had a mother who had a very different plan and apparantly wanted to keep my father with her for reasons unknown to me and in order to achieve this she made a hole in the condom […]
I just shouted at a homeless who started talking to me.. to stfu and then 10minutes later my ex who is the reason I am this ready… with whom i was supposed to spend the night with… who i was picking up from work and was waiting for infront of her office for 15minutes then walks out and tells me she is sorry but her girlfriend just called her… i walked away not saying anything finding the first wall and started smashing into it… it hurts quite badly… búúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúút i love this feeling… it numbs everything.
I wonder… I long for death.. and would welcome.it if it came so that it was not my who does the deed.. nor would I die without a struggle to go on.. this is in me. As I have proven for the last two years. I showed it with staying with the person who crushes me.. the person who took my sanitty.. or at least that what was left of it.
Some if if was taken by my family but at the age of 26 I was over it.. I mean it helped to meet her… The person who I wanted to marry. Cute, beautiful, sexy […]
So, I just started a new job… I took it for several reasons:
a) I earn 300 euro more compared to before and could depending on my performance boost this with another 60% of my total salary… But this is just money. I hate it.
b) Maybe it is the same as the above as I am currently in dept more or less… because of the drugs. I actually took the job (partly) so that I could support this lifestyle, while thinking I would be able to make my life more stable with a 9 till 5 job rather then one in which my hours […]
Hmmm I notice how shit I feel compared to others… I wrote this while in company of others…
I got close again to my ex and it’s clear as daylight can be when you go from the dark to the outside…she is my doom. I know what I can do to be okay. I simply do not like this life and find it boring… So I should shit on other people to be happy myself… So I need to lower my standards….
Side note… I know depression And cancer are caused by foods that we eat (stress also helps) and I wonder these rich companies… We’re they aware ? Or should we believe in their stories when the time comes that they get unmasked? […]
Wondering starting to date again… I like one girl more then the others she is cute and sweet. She is originally from the country that I moved too 6 years ago. But also lived in the east and southern of Europe.
She is 8 years older then me. I don’t mind. I actually quite like it as I would like children and I think she would want them too. I wonder though if it is a wise step.. in the longer run for my happiness if that path were to happen….
we click really well so I do not really for see problems in that […]
These pictures are from today….I am the person who never did this… but the combination of not being able to trust new contacts, thus making it impossible to life a normal life and the fact that my ex girlfriend might have given me soa’s;there have been 10+ guys so the chances are rather high…. has removed all boundaries which i did have before.
This […]
I wrote today to my doctor… and she mentioned that I have ” somatical-mental indisposition” what does this mean?
I can give more information after someone answered then I explain why or not it an accurate diagnosis.
It has been 11 months since I got cheated on the day before my birthday. I made a date with the weekend of the 4th of april; I just need to book the hotel.. so far all my plans were about being silent, calm, alone so that my body would be discovered only by the amount of concern people have for me.
Now, I plan to jump down from the highest hotel this city has to offer me with enough pills to make sure that I will be K.O. during the free fall…
The reason? Partly the fact that this girl cheated on me over and over […]
Hi,
So today I was almost run over because a garbage truck backed off. Before he drove back when I was behind it, the last action was that he drove forward thus making me think it is safe. He might not have seen me, but this is still his role to make sure it was clear I went to his window to get a story.
-> the police told me it is the right of the driver to do this… they did not show much concern that I was BEHIND the car at that time and that it was not clear what he was doing as a […]
We no longer need a select group to rule for us; this is because we have have made advanced progress in technology which enables us to communicate at a much quicker progress then before. In a mere few minutes we can compile votes and have the results at the same time which before would took days if not weeks to tally otherwise.
We can ask more complicated questions of the WORLD, COUNTRY and locally and have the answer almost straight away; this all is available RIGHT NOW.
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Does anyone agree with this?
Like the title says; i have lost ALL interests. There are still some people whose companionship I prefer above others but one hand I prefer to be alone but still need people around me at times. Currently I get this at work and after work it is enough; this is exactly like in my high school years.
Again I am reading a lot.
I am reading mostly read about older civilizations and technology.
My issue is how the world is being run. What they say about dictatorship is that most people prefer it because it is simply less messy. But we need one in the […]
The current situation is a sick love story. The girl who I think is the one, thinks the same of me… Yet; she cheats on me and gives as reason that she is insecure due to that I got a message on my phone in the early stage of our relationship. She is also jealous the moment someone looks at me in a club; me noticing that someone is looking at me is enough to shatter her self-esteem.
Then after several months of dating she tells me she need to meet her ex to be sure of her feelings and that this relationship is truly the […]