Not too long ago, I was taking a shower. Brother was being an ass, my Dad just got his ass arrested, and I was sick of dealing with myself. I reached for the razor. I’ve never exactly cut myself. People can see those marks as clear as day, especially with my pale skin. But that doesn’t mean I can’t inflict pain. I just do it in ways that leave no marks. But that day, all I wanted to do was break that razor. I don’t know how long I stood there, just staring at that sharp piece of metal. It was all I wanted to […]
Sometimes I feel like i’m nobody at all. I just feel detached, ya know? Like a dream. And things just start happening around me. I move or say something and things react slowly. I just stare at a screen that spies on my life but then there’s that sense that it’s not even my life that I’m watching. Somebody else says something, but they’re not speaking to me. They aren’t even talking to Lynne. And neither of us answer. It’s almost like somebody else is occupying my body. There’s my pale skin, my messy hair; my face and my eyes and my hands but inside […]
The thing is, my name actually isn’t lynne. It’s a mask I wear, like something out of a drama or a play. I’m not Lynne, but I like her better than me. She’s more fun, more everything. She’s the one who wrestles in the hallway with her friends like she doesn’t even care. She’s the one who says it’s awesome or “yeah, let’s do this” She’s the one everbody else wants me to be. She’s the one I want to be. But I’m NOT her. I’m just me. But sometimes, that doesn’t feel like it’s enough. It’s so hard, pretending to be her. So how […]