Sometimes I feel like i’m nobody at all. I just feel detached, ya know? Like a dream. And things just start happening around me. I move or say something and things react slowly. I just stare at a screen that spies on my life but then there’s that sense that it’s not even my life that I’m watching. Somebody else says something, but they’re not speaking to me. They aren’t even talking to Lynne. And neither of us answer. It’s almost like somebody else is occupying my body. There’s my pale skin, my messy hair; my face and my eyes and my hands but inside it’s not me. I can’t even feel empty because i don’t feel at all. And I don’t even get to feel depressed or relieved that it’s not really me down there, inside that little screen. When she pricks her finger or stubs her toe, I don’t feel the pain. Because that’s not really me. I’m up here, just watching the screen…
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4 comments
It’s like a numbness so big, that nothing is real anymore.
You pretty much described how I feel – dead inside.
The only kind of feeling that sometimes gets through is pain, this intense pain that hurts so much..
I’m here to talk if you need.
Is Lynne your alter ego like in multiple personality disorder? It sounds like you are dissociating from reality.
I know exactly how you feel so you’re not alone.
Sometimes it’s difficult to remember that we’re not alone in this cruel world.
Also hi everyone, I’m new here. I hope I can get to know you before I die. 🙂
Yes, I guess… It’s not so much as multipersonality disorder as much as it is… I don’t really know how to describe it. Maybe it is a personality disorder… I don’t even know. I’ve never told anyone about it before so it could be…..