I’m such a **** its unbelievable. Fell for everything you ever said, all the lies and everything!
You’ve made me cry for the past 3 hours, i’ve got a headache, thrown up twice and cut myself. All because you fucking lied! Strung me along for 13 months! Why would you do that? Fucking why would you even think thats acceptable?!?!?! All i did was fucking love you. All i did was fucking care for you, and you just lied. Your best friend!!! told me all of this. You never once cared! I poured my heart out to you and you said it back but it […]
Why do I feel like everybody hates me?
I haven’t even done anything wrong
All I do is care for other people…
And of course it’s shoved back In my face.
I really hate life, I annoy everyone I know
What’s going in my head?
All I think about is death, my death
When it will be, how it will happen,
I really don’t see a point in living
Wish someone would murder me, poison me?
It’s even sadder that my best friend is my blade
Was doing so well till tonight, 7 days free
But yet again, I fail. Can’t do anything right
I […]
Has anyone heard from Blackqwert? (I think that’s how you spell it), I haven’t seen him post on here in a LONG time and I’m on here religiously everyday checking up on certain people and seeing if they’re ok.
Seriously going to have a breakdown soon. I’m going to snap and its not going to be pretty, someone will get hurt. I’m like a bomb waiting to explode, its ticking quickly. I can feel my blood boil most of the day, I’m so angry and stressed and upset. I need to cut. Badly. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Why why why why why????
why do you do this me? all ive done is love you
yes i start fucking rucks but how can I not when all you do is lie?
I ask you a simple fucking question and you ignore me
you’re one of the reasons I hurt myself.
You call me a fucking din for it, but i don’t care.
I only care for you. Yet, you lie and say you care to!
Do you fuck, you don’t give a shit! If you did care you wouldn’t fuck me over!
I just want to fucking stab you in the fucking face […]
I don’t know what to do anymore, I seriously need help. I can’t stop cutting, it’s all I ever think about even when I think of everything else it always comes back to my razor.
Things are so shit right now, the men who tried to groom me for so long are finally free and out of prison. One lives in my road, I’m so scared I don’t know what to do. I know they’re gonna come back for me. They promised this before they went inside. What do I do? :'(
So much shit is happening right now, I know others have it so much […]
Go to sleep and close your eyes,
And dream of broken butterflies
That tore their wings against a thorn.
You know the pain that they have endured
Silver metal shine so bright
Scarlet blood that feels so right.
Dream of that blood trickling down,
And wake up just before you drown.
The moonlight shining off your tears
As you bleed out your worst fears.
So tonight when you start to cry
Whisper the cutters lullaby:
Hushabye baby, you’re almost dead
You don’t have a pulse and your pillow is red.
Your family hates you
Your friends let you bleed
Sleep tight with a knife,
Cause its all that you […]
So today I found out that not only has my mum attempted suicide (I knew this already) but to add I find out my dad has also attempted.. this was only a few years ago aswell. I guess these things run in the family.
I found out that when I cut I go into a state of dissociation? I think that’s how it’s spelt.. it’s like derealising your self.. like youre not real and you’re watching someone else cut. I also feel no pain when I cut, only later on when I’ve finally come back to reality..
Another thing, what do I do.. the guy I adore and cherish saw my cuts for the first time & I honestly think he was scared. Or put off.. maybe both..
Mum said she wished I was dead and not my sister… Lovely.
For cutters,
When you cut, do you ever black out and not realise what’s going on until you “snap” out?
When I read the comments on here about people promising to stay alive for as long as possibly from the help of you guys, it really makes me smile, I mean this website can be truly depressing sometimes but then there’s always that little bit of hope that somewhere on here someone has helped another person live for at least another week, that’s true friendship right there.. even if you’ve never met!
You guys are absoloutely amazing and I wish everyone the best in whatever they decide, I can honestly say I’ve never found such a supportive community ever before, you guys should be proud […]
So last night on casualty, they tried to portray Self harm. It was actually so bad that it made my blood boil! The way they showed it was totally the wrong way, they showed it as if it was easy to accomplish and that it wasn’t such a big deal, the ending especially was of a woman who slashed her wrists and all you saw was people not bothered by what happened and when she was cutting she made it so easy, like not putting in any thought or effort to do it properly, if I tried to do it like this i’d barely make […]
So last night, I cut real bad. So bad infact that it was still bleeding this morning, it was a total mess all of my arm was red and I could have done nicely with some stitches. But, after I woke up to sheets of blood, it looked like someone was shot there. I finally realised, I’m going to get help, I emailed my tutor at college asking if I could talk to her in confidence and if it would get out or not and other’s would be involved, apparently the only time it would be nessecary for people to get involved if it was […]
I really love the way you treat me. Making me feel 2 inches tall, making me believe you love me. Funny thing is, you don’t, but I do love you. “I don’t want a relationship yet” fuck off you’ve had 10 months to decide this. Yesterday, the way you made me feel so upset and hurt made me pick up that blade! Thank you very fucking much! Thank you for being the one to make me slice at my skin. Yes, it was your fault. You never used to be like this. Why all of a sudden have you changed? Funny how you say Jump […]
Today I found out the person I’ve gave everything to is still sleeping with his ex! I admit, I’m not in a relationship with him but when he constantly tells me he’s in love with me knowing full well I would go to anything for this guy it’s not nice to find out that he’s still sleeping with yourself and his ex? Not to mention he took my virginity after I told him how much I do love him, I know what you’re thinking “she’s young, she don’t know what love is” I do when that one person has had everything from me and made […]
I’m such a failure. Today I tried to kill myself. I tried to drown myself, had a panic attack and sat in the corner for 4 hours holding a razor to my wrist. I can’t even kill myself properly. How the fuck am I supposed to survive on my own if I can’t even do that.
I pick up the razor and draw the line,
not too thick, one thats just fine.
Watch the blood trickle and seep,
As I sit there and lonely weep.
Flush this life away…before my eyes,
Life’s not easy when it’s full of lies.
You always gave me grief, I was betrayed,
Until I finally gave in and roughly caved.
It’s over now. Done. I’m gone.
Gone, to a place where I belong.
Up a few thousand miles to the skies,
Where there’s no hate, greif or lies.
Ok, I need to let some steam off.
I’m new to this.
I’ve only ever told my best friend any of this & I thought.. maybe it would be easier to tell strangers who can’t directly judge me?
I really need help, I’m 17 years old and all I have to show for my self is a few Gcse’s and mutilated arms. I have nothing going for me, all I do is cut myself & want to die. I actually don’t want to die though, I just need someone to listen to me and tell how to get help. It’s so embarrassing asking for help […]
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