How do these people live. Every day. Work. Eat. Sleep. Study. Bullshit, bullshit, its all fucking bullshit.
I cant take the pain anymore. Every waking moment is pain.
If theres a god with any compassion out there, he will let me die.
My life isnt right anymore. Im not normal. I forgot my head somewhere. Lost track of time, days, people. Showing a perfect image to everyone around me, but its only a mask. A mask i am trapped in, screaming for help in my mind. But i cant let it out, i refuse. Everything makes me cry, i never cry. I met the devil, my arm is covered in slashes. Im passing through all the phases, yes like i always have. But this is different, life officially feels off. Its a haze, i dont recognize it, everything is sinister, i am paranoid of everything. I feel […]
Im a loser
Im an addict
I dig my own grave
Im a scumbag
Im confused
Im lost
Im gone
Goodbye.
Im an edgy fuck.
Im a *****.
Im useless.
Im a loser.
Sorry everyone.
Wow life, thanks for everything. You’ve now taken almost everything. This just feels unreal now. Im below where i started. Im sick of trusting people, and im sick of making the same mistakes over again. Im sick of trusting life, just for it to throw me down in an unbelievable fashion. The only thing i plan for and look forward to now is death. Please no replies, i dont want any sympathy.
Was carving the word pain onto my knuckles.. Im just a wonderful person arent I?
Merry Christmas guys.
But its not enough. I want to bleed out all my life. It barely subsides the pain and monotony i live with in my waking life. Sleep is unfortunately the only thing left for me. I dont want to get better, i want to fall as deep as possible into whatever this is. I want the cuts to show how fucked up i am, how much i hate it here. Maybe if i rebel and drown in this, things will turn out the way i want. Maybe not. I guess we will see.
Everyone is cheap. Everyone lets me down. No one can be trusted. Nobody gives a shit. No one understands. Everyone’s world revolves around themselves. Can you blame them? Human nature baby. I love it, when my mood starts to switch up and i start leaning on people, just to get hurt or crushed or let down. Its awesome. I wish i could remember how fucking shallow everyone will always be, so i can stop investing time into nothing. Nobody cares, and i shouldnt expect them to.
Too bad i hate life and myself enough to care about myself as much as everyone else does. Nobody will […]
5 days ago i put the blade to my arm for the first time in my life. I was reading posts on SP, listening to music going through a depressive episode. My mind just said fuck it, wonder what its like cutting yourself. So i went ahead and did, with a razor blade. Make a few little cuts, got a rush, than overreacted and scared the shit out of my girlfriend. Made a post about it on SP, got a lot of advice and wisdom, but i was never the type to listen to anyone but myself anyway haha.
Fast forward 5 days and i have.. […]
I’m comatose I’m comatose i still feel out my soul alive for pain
My mind is so fucked up i killed my hope for real im trapped alone inside my brain
I won’t change i’ll go away i’ve had enough of real life blood and cuts to shield my pain im feeling drained
Cut my wrist embrace the pain love can’t fix today i’m shut with hate its changed me
I’m comatose Im comatose Im comatose all day and night
I watched my soul fall away and fall away from the light
A wasted life a wasted life im just counting time and chasing highs
Im sedated all beneath my eyes my […]
I dont know why. Im here alone in my home, disappointed im not sitting at rock bottom emotionally. I feel empty and uncomfortable, but not sad. I just want to be as depressed as possible. I dont think i deserve happiness, and really i dont want it. Started cutting few days ago and probably have around 40-50 cuts on my left arm already. I guess its comforting looking at my arm atleast..
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