Bought the pills. Gonna take a stroll somewhere far. Preferably where there is water. Even if I am found it’ll be too late. I’ll probably end up on the news somewhere (hope not) and yea… ????
Things are getting serious now. I have started praying for my death. Seriously, just getting on my knees in the dark and just ask whatever or whoever out there to kill me. I’ll let you know how this goes. I’ve sunked too deep now. I feel so numb and unmotivated. Everything is becoming a hassle.
I hope the higher power who sent me here can hear me. If not, then the universe will. I gladly told them to fuck off. Yes, and it felt good. I just don’t want to be here man. Already thwarted on my first suicide attempt and now I’m in my head is just torture. The depression is getting worse. It happens little by little then one day you just cant feel anymore. I’m going to hurt people if I cannot make my way out of this shit hole without inter-fucking-ference. Please kill me…