i’m not gonna lie, i’m such a hypocrite for thinking this.
so in my school production of Annie, there’s this girl playing Mrs. Hannigan who has recently (at auditions) displayed her singing talent. i mean this girl’s GOOD. i’m not gonna lie, (i hate bragging, but this is true,) i have been the best singer in my drama club for two years. this whole time i’ve been practicing, working as hard as i can, to be the best i can be. i’ve been working my ass off and suddenly this amateur just strolls in and steals everyone’s hearts by wailing a couple of high notes. […]
may sound strange, i know. i’ve just come to realize that a good metaphor for my personality is an empty, sparkly box. i look happy on the outside, but i’m just so hopeless on the inside. this is why i have trouble finding the courage to ask for help: i’m afraid no one will believe me. i’m described as bubbly and perky, but when i’m alone and away from distractions i feel so opposite from what people see me as. actually, sometimes even when i’m alone i’m fine. but this isn’t nothing. i know i need help. i’m tired of seeing bleak nothingness in my […]
one post on this site and i feel so much better. knowing that there ARE people who care enough to comment, to tell me what i’m experiencing. it makes me feel a bit like a human being again. thank you so much, i’ve never known this kind of understanding before. and for everyone out there who’s ever helped someone on this site, and is thinking of taking their life: you’ve helped someone. that means you mean something to them, which means you DO matter. don’t give up hope.
i don’t want to kill myself. i don’t know if that means i’m not welcome here, but i’m tired of my life, so does that count? and the biggest thing is my life is fine. at least i haven’t been abused. i have no reason to believe people don’t like me. (yet i still think my friends secretly don’t want me around…) i’m just gonna list all the things i can’t stand, and, really don’t want to.
-ever since September, i’ve suddenly felt like the energy of my life has changed. nothing really happened, except that my older friends went to high school. but it hurts. […]