may sound strange, i know. i’ve just come to realize that a good metaphor for my personality is an empty, sparkly box. i look happy on the outside, but i’m just so hopeless on the inside. this is why i have trouble finding the courage to ask for help: i’m afraid no one will believe me. i’m described as bubbly and perky, but when i’m alone and away from distractions i feel so opposite from what people see me as. actually, sometimes even when i’m alone i’m fine. but this isn’t nothing. i know i need help. i’m tired of seeing bleak nothingness in my future. i want things to go back to the way they used to be, but i’m just too afraid.
on another note, in my first post people said i was clinically depressed. i’m starting to doubt even myself, though. i’d like more opinions. if you’re looking at this, please click on my name and real my first post, “this might be different”. i tend to be a dramatic person, so sometimes i even tell myself i’m overreacting, but i know there’s SOMETHING wrong with me. i’m not ME anymore. also, i’d like to know exactly WHAT TYPE of depression i may be experiencing. Atypical sounds about right… but there are so many possibilities.
6 comments
I think you are depressed. I feel being depressed isn’t that hard to be sucked into, there are terrible things people face everyday; some of us get sucked into them. While most people tend to ignore them. Depression is terrible in itself, it eats away at us; makes us feel worse about every aspect in life. As if the world has lost color. Im in the midst of either choosing to end this colorless world or simply deal with it.
I don’t think you should do it though, I think you can make it; I think you can survive this.
Please believe me.
May we all do the right thing.
People ‘often’ go thru turbulent times & hence emotions & conflicts when there is change present in their lives. Be it, relationship change, changing schools, places they live, friends, lovers etc.
Change as they say is the one constant in life. Expect it. In fact it is how we grow and mature by being presented with change. Everyone’s first love/loss feels dramatic and yet as we grow, we get better at such stuff. So too when someone faces death eg death of a parent.
To grow, we must all change, otherwise we stay as immature as 2 year olds. Sadly, i know a few adults like that! lol.
So my point is this, if there is changes in your life in any of the above area’s, don’t automatically assume you are clinically depressed and likewise don’t let others throw labels at you.
Sure you may be a bit down when faced with turmoil. Thats actually pretty normal. But sometimes you also have to pick yourself up and brush yourself off and get back to daily life with a stronger and positive attitude. Life isn’t perfect and thats okay. Your aim should be to make it a little teeny bit better each day though.
Stay positive and you will be okay. if you do have problems and difficulties, then the best solution is address them via good guidance and help from someone you can trust and admire around you, be it a parent, teacher, friend, etc. Otherwise here is always okay too.
I wish you well …
Honestly i feel the same sometimes i do wonder if im bipolar or something like that but im only diagnosed with depression. I came to the conclusion that i am the way i am because i have this need to be what i think others expect me to be so i do everything in my power to keep up expectations. I know what its like to smile all day long and laugh all day jet the one thing you really want is to go home and lock yourself up and be your self.
if you ever need someone to talk to im here http://www.facebook.com/genovi.robles
I have been told i have perfectionistic personality disorder. I act the way i think people want me to be to please them which blew up in my face. I became a door mat instead and the moment i stood up for myself (after i took antidepressants i started to care more for myself) i started losing people until i had near no one left. I am told they really were not my friends. but i miss them. I love them and wish i kept my mouth shut and kept my composure. Oh well. I was diagnosed with depression and then bipolar depression. I go through ups and downs. Lately no ups but downs and further downs but this site helps because you can let go, be yourself, and not put up a front. I would never discuss these things even with a counselor.
I do not think i should diagnose others. I do not have a degree. It would be like being led by the blind. What do i know? There are a lot of quizzes online that can maybe help diagnose you.