nullusangelus

The end. I’ve found where I can free myself of this curse of a fucking life. There’s a place down south from where I live and a quiet little bridge over a fifty metre drop into one metre deep water. Short drop and a sudden drop, and it’s all over. Once everything hits absolute rock bottom, I know where I’m going. Why not do it now? Because, strangely enough, someone needs me right now. But me being expendable, once I’m no longer useful, I’ll have nothing left. Not even the bane of drawing breath.

And I can’t wait

Dull eyes reside in a pounding head

The sparkle of hope, but a glimmer

Dreams lie smashed, broken and dead

Life couldn’t look much dimmer.

The streets are bleak and monchrome

The people are of disgust and distaste

The great array of sounds are monotone

If you seek Hell, you’ve come to the right place

Welcome to my life, the city of endless pain

Valleys of solitude run deep

This is where you have all to lose and nought to gain

And your only reprieve is sleep

To be truly alone is something without escape

To be on your own rips you apart

To have no one there is a truly damned fate

And destroys what’s left of your heart

Has anyone ever pictured their own funeral? You’ve brough your years upon yours of misery and melancholy to an end in your own design. It’s all over, you’ve drawn your final breath and have finally accomplished what you sought most. Now, you’re laying cold in your very own mahogany box, dressed immaculately with your stiff finger locked across your  forever stilled chest. Who’s there? Who silently weeps as the entrance melody plays? Who numbly places a photo underneath your cold hands and utters a few words? Who trembles under your literal dead weight as they carry you to be elegantly laid to rest? Who throws […]

There lies a such clinging misery in the finality of someone you love leaving. It just sits there, lying on top of you for so, so long. There is nothing you could possibly attempt to actually take your mind off it for more than ten minutes. For me, it was when my ex left me. Someone who I cherished far more than I’ll ever feel myself, and who I put grand amounts of money and double that  in time. She meant the world to me, and I didn’t mean so much as to stay loyal to. She cheated on me seven times in the six […]