Author

NWren

Been a tough week at work. Who wants to play a game with me?

by NWren 7/3/2015

written by NWren

Been a long week at work. I don’t want to get into it and still have 39 days until I can see a doctor and start getting help. Who wants to play a game I made up to help me through the hard times?

It’s called “Have To/Get To” and you list one thing you will never HAVE to do again if you kill yourself, but then you list two things you will never GET to do again once you’re dead. I don’t know why, but it helps me so I figured I would share with you guys.

Here’s mine:

I will never have to be laughed at by […]

7/3/2015 6 comments

Searching for Hulahoop

by NWren 6/17/2015

written by NWren

Has anyone heard from the user Hulahoop recently. I think they posted last week. Just wanted to check in and see if they are ok.

Hulahoop, if you read this. Please email me. my email is nwren86@yahoo.com. Just want to make sure you’re ok.

6/17/2015 0 comment

I had planned to die yesterday.

by NWren 6/10/2015

written by NWren

I had planned to kill myself last night. I have actually decided to fight.

I think this change has a lot to do with posting to this board. I don’t know why. But posting my story (mostly putting words to my feelings) and seeing other people’s stories (and knowing that others feel how I feel) has made me look at my depression and suicidal thoughts differently. I began to see all my problems with life as a result of my depression rather than being than my problems with life causing my depression. I have decided to seek help (Making an appointment with my doctor tomorrow) and have actually made up […]

6/10/2015 4 comments

What is getting help like?

by NWren 6/3/2015

written by NWren

I posted my story here yesterday. Someone asked me if I had ever gotten help from a mental health professional.

I have not. Honestly I’m scared. Not only of what everyone in my life will say, but about the process itself. I do not want to just be pumped full of anti-depressants and spend an hour each week talking about what makes me sad. I am also terrified of being admitted to a mental ward.

Is there anyone on here who has been to therapy/gotten mental help and would be willing to share what it’s like?

6/3/2015 2 comments

New here. Could use people to talk to.

by NWren 6/2/2015

written by NWren

I’ve been dealing with suicidal tendencies since I was in high school. TEN YEARS AGO

Obviously it hasn’t been continuous over those years. There have been days where keeping it a secret is easy and my “happy face” feels normal.

But these thoughts have been VERY strong over the past month of so.

I HATE my job. The people I serve (I work in food service) are RUDE. I’ve been laughed at, sworn at, and just generally treated badly. I serve the same people every day so I’m constantly dealing with it.

I am so unhappy in my apartment. I rent a room and have no say in who […]

6/2/2015 5 comments