Author

Old_Medic60

Paramedic 28 years, ex-cop and volunteer firefighter. Single, no kids, lives in Florida. Jesus follower. History of bipolar depression.

Can’t Last til my Last Breath

by Old_Medic60 1/10/2017

written by Old_Medic60

Last Thursday during a period of mania I quit a job of 6 months. Went to the beach and put my ‘hood’ on. As I prepared the tank it occurred to me that I hadn’t removed personal effects from my friends house where I landed in June after leaving the hotel. Didn’t want to burden anyone having to root through my stuff.

Called a crisis line a few hours later ending up volunteering to admit myself for this crisis.

Now several days later, really kick myself for not going through with it. I was in the right frame of mind and more so a valid reason to […]

1/10/2017 0 comment

Wits End

by Old_Medic60 1/4/2017

written by Old_Medic60

I’ve put up with these painful esophageal spasms for some time. Cannot eat or drink without painful spasms, chest pain and aspiration. Been to specialists but no one has any idea what to do.
Secondly, been homeless for a year now, living in hotels, friends and my car. I’m 56 and really a battle with everyday life. Tried intimacy the other day and that didn’t work. Had been abstinate for nearly 4 years and what a let down for both of us.
I have my ‘exit bag’ ready always available in my car. Going to a different hospital today and if no answers will end […]

1/4/2017 2 comments

Empathy for those in chronic pain

by Old_Medic60 1/1/2017

written by Old_Medic60

I understand. Been struggling with painful swallowing for over a year and now aspirate in my sleep each and every night. I work in a few hours but just wanted to vent. Doctors say in my case there are few options at this point. Already had the stomach stapled, medications no longer are effective thus remaining life of sleeping upright.

Cardiospasms occur when I drink anything now. Used to be just solids, that feeling of something stuck in the throat.

Really need to do some serious meditation on how to relieve this chronic disease and pain. Thanks for reading. Happy New Year’s.

1/1/2017 1 comment