When I’m “happy”I’m still sad it comforts me the only thing I will have in the end is nothing my summer is near it’s end and so is my life I don’t want to wake up everyday at 6:00 to get ready for a place I get an education?the most I’ve learned is how much I hate people and how cruel they.I feel like a slave to life.nothing good ever lasts to long
There’s a lot of things I want to do but I know I can’t I love my family no matter how much the hate me and I say I hate them I love them I’m scared of everything I can’t imagine living in my own I I fear rapist,serial killers,kidnappers,stalkers,etc.,I can’t think about being killed.I don’t want to grow up I don’t want a future I wish the world wasn’t dog eat dog more of dog help dog as peaceful as my neighborhood is I just think there’s always something out there.and i relized why would I be afraid for someone to kill me but […]
Today I had to go to the store with my stepmom I felt like everyone was staring and my eyes weighed 500 lbs. It’s been so long since I’ve been outside it’s weird awkward I think this has been my most depressed week ever I feel kinda of bad because there’s blind crippled people in the world who would love to have sight or walk but I’m taking it all way I’m kind of happy that the date is almost close except I heard of this circles of hell thing but it’s a myth so I shouldnt be worried
Should I write down names on my suicide note?will 13 benodryl kill you?should I do it in the school bathroom or where?
Today I failed at being anything but worthless.I sat in the rain and cried.My time is almost up the date seems closer and closer I can’t go through humiliation.my fears have taken over my life.I relized happiness I something I could never have.today you said I was stupid and yesterday and all the days before that.you’re my infection I take my time to give you all affection I have nothing left.you hate me I hate me.the last thing I’m living for is fading away
I had a dream about my suicide and I said if I am friendless and lonely if my parents still hate me and if I found God I would commit suicide.anyways the dream.I was at my locker and my friends were ignoring me but I never took it to thought then we were at the lunch table and they were talking about me right in front of my face then they said get out of our group we never wanted you here(my fear of friendlessness was coming true)2Dream I was in my room then my stepmom came in and started yelling about my room and […]
I know what’s next you don’t you said a loser will always be a loser I thought you were family if there’s was a such thing as jumping up to commit suicide I would jump and let’s the blood run down your window we fight when I’m awake asleep and dreaming I can’t explain how much I want to kill you drain you out so you can feel my pain but I can’t kill out of hate and you and your friends told me to go kill myself so when I do I know I’m forfilling someone’s dream the only thing that will change after […]
I’m going to Germany for 2 weeks with my mom and stepdad I want to tell my mom about my plan but that would ruin the trip and i live with my dad and stepmom.I see my mom 1-2 a month. in all the hate and depression deep down there’s hope.but hope always gets destroyed and damaged dying would being new adventures with no worries.if I ever get the courage to jump from our house.suicide’s my answer to all the problems and worries.but life is something I want so bad
I don’t know where to go when I feel this way I lost my razor so I can’t cut.how dare they freaking ruin my summer I hate life I hate myself this eefin sucks when I thought i could be alone someone has to ruin everything just go away I never needed you why did you ever appear LEAVE don’t you have something or someplace to do or go rather then ruin every single second of what may be my last days
Well if something doesn’t save me soon or before August-December I will kill myself(if I can hold on that long)I think I will jump or overdose if I jump it will be from our house or dad’s work building or overdose I could die in bed or in the living room.I want it during school so students can say oh i miss her teachers she was a great student NO!you hate my iwas a outcast nobody cared nobody cares I’m tired of dragging I’m waiting to write my note I decided not to put any names causethatwould be more media I guess I just wanted […]
It’s late very late but they’re still here yes you depression&suicide to cut or not to cut.if I cut things fill free less numb.if I don’t there’s temptation.when I cut it’s not like you notice or care i want friends who care I WANT FRIENDs PERIOD I want a life so I don’t have to live yours I want oxygen so I can breathe.like the kids on tv happy lively everywhere they turn they see some1 who loves them I want love Can I have love?I quess love is found in death
I need to leave everything everyone has begun to discust me to where I can’t eat sleep or breathe I want it to feel like your birthday not mines mines are always terrible you smile on yours I cut on mines I think it’s time to take myself to a brighter place school’s not safe anymore home is hell happy is far death is close idk what to put on my note I can’t say I love&and I can’t say i miss u all or myself idk I’m covered in gasoline & standing next to a fire
I think I’m finally letting go!I’m sick of everyone & everything I need friend a true friend a best friend I found 1 I looked deeper within myself within you and everything you do actions&words I fear you i fear me I fear the rope hanging from that tree the tree of life the tree of death I am numb so I cut you are happy so you dance I bleed so I know I’m real you smile cause you have love I want to be programed to be happy loved excited I want your system I want your smile If i get up and […]
No matter how many times I try to run from suicide it finds me Depression appears every time your here I want something to love someone anyone it would be a different day for me for you for everyone who played a part and stole pieces of my heart it could be today that you won’t see me tomarrow
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