In my previous post, http://suicideproject.org/?p=359010, I mentioned my life with chronic pain. I’ve been becoming more self abusive and suicidal. Trying to find new ways to cope. Family is pulling more and more away no matter how much I try to be apart of their lives. I shaved my head today. It made me feel better somewhat. I don’t feel as hideous as I did yesterday. Feeling a little bit more normal. At least it would be a handsome corpse. Lol. Bad joke, but I believe more people will have that sense of humor here. Just wish I could find an outlet to find happiness.
I’ve been living with illness all my life. Started with asthma when I was young. 3rd grade I was put into the ICU for an asthma attack. They kept me awake with albuterol and doing arterial sticks every hour. Slightly traumatized me. It continued through high school. Then I developed stomach issues as well as a curve in my spine known as Sherman’s Disease. I started eating ibprophen like it was candy. Pneumonia and bouts of pleurisy followed me through my mid 20’s. In my mid 20’s I developed IBS. The gastro doctor, who is also my fathers, thought I had chrons like my father. […]