I’m so tired. Just tired of all this crap lately. First off, I was starving myself yesterday and the day before- an attempt to diet because I’m fucking gross. I want all of my fat gone. All of it. I hate myself. I’m a gross, fat, ugly waste of space. I hate myself so damn much. You know what I’m really, really, really craving, though? Sweet release. Last week (I think), my blade was taken away, and I haven’t been able to cut. Cutting was my little escape. All the cuts on my arm are fading away, and I’m getting anxious about that, for some […]
You know what I hate so much? When people know that a person is suicidal, self harming, or even really just feeling down, and some asshole thinks it’s alright to push it even deeper. When I was in 7th grade, I was suicidal. This girl was talking shit behind my back about how she was only pretending to be my friend. That- ugh! It’s horrible! Even now, I’m dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts, self harm, and anxiety. And I still get that kind of bullshit! My cousin, knows that it irritates me when he hits me. He hits me on my upper arm, which is […]
I MAKE EVERYTHING A JOKE. EVERYTHING. I EVEN JOKE ABOUT ME GETTING HIT BY A CAR LAST YEAR. I CAN’T BELIEVE MYSELF. IT’S NOT A JOKE, OKAY?! WHATS SO FUNNY ABOUT YOU CUTTING YOURSELF OR KILLING YOURSELF?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, POISON?! I hate myself so, so, so much. But I love you guys.
I cut because I want to feel. I want to feel the sting of the blade, and then you know how you’re arm feels limp and dead for a little? I enjoy that. I like running my fingers over my cuts, and feeling the bumps along the way down. I don’t cut my wrists; I cut my upper arm. My upper arm is like a journal now, telling stories of my pain, anxiety, and frustrations. I started cutting about a week ago, and I’ve already lost count of my cuts. I hate to say it, but you know when you read that some people get […]
Nice to meet you. Or really, everyone on Suicide Project. I have been reading several stories for the past few days, and… I love this place. It’s a place where we suicidals can tell what is going on in our dark, lonely, minds. We suffer mentally, really. We are doing so much wrong, but it feels do damn comfortable. Well, this sounds like quite a thing you guys have here. I’m Poison. This world has me going mad; to the extent of cutting my own damned skin! Anyone else really tired and sick of society’s crap? Cause then you are welcomed to be my friend. […]