the easiest way to deal with my pain is inflicting pain. i slam my head against walls, get into fights, cut myself, burn myself. it gives me an outlet. its a tangible pain, its physical, and visual. and it makes all the pain i feel inside numb. everything bad i feel is absorbed by the physical pain, and i get to feel alive for a little while. everything i don’t want to feel drips out my viens with my blood. everything i’m afraid of, everything that makes me sad or angry. it makes it a little bit easier to deal with all the death and […]
Author
quietlyobjectified
the first time i tried to kill myself i was 6. it was right after i’d told my dad that a family friend was molesting me. he beat the crap out of me and told me it was my fault, that i asked for it. i tried to strangle myself by tying a shoelace around my throat so tight that i couldn’t breathe. i fainted and the cord snapped.